


the taste of a warm heart.

by kinkydents (douxdamian)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Agender Hange Zoë, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Eren Yeager, Canon-Typical Violence, Cute Eren Yeager, Dark, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Sadism, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Gore, Paranoia, Porn With Plot, Possessive Levi Ackerman, Power Imbalance, Smut, Tension, Top Levi Ackerman, Unreliable Narrator, mean levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:42:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29689683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/douxdamian/pseuds/kinkydents
Summary: “Why would I be afraid of you?” Levi started, “You’re just a kid. If anything, you should be afraid of me.”Eren frowned, before pouting his lips and asking, “Why?”Levi didn’t boast about his title. He really, really didn’t. He loathed it. “I’m Humanity’s Strongest.” With that, Eren paled, even more than he was already.“Are you scared now, little boy?”—An alternate universe where Eren grew up in the Underground, and was dropped in Levi's custody. Levi, however, is not fond of this.Heed the tags.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 39
Kudos: 356





	the taste of a warm heart.

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT HELLO
> 
> this story is entirely in levi's P.O.V! so everything that happens is told from his perspective, and you learn things with him.
> 
> please note, that while i wouldn't consider this story "levi grooming eren", **eren is still underage** and levi still essentially """raises""" him. take that as you will.
> 
> this is considered a dark, angsty fanfiction, please read with discretion. <3 the tags are v v important. this piece was heavily inspired by two kikuo songs: [i'm sorry i'm sorry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6elFMyYYiWA), and [you are a useless child.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HinT8DXYdDk)
> 
> also, this story doesn't really have a plot/storybuilding outside of levi & eren.

What Levi didn’t expect that cold, foggy morning was Erwin beckoning him into an interrogation room. Levi didn’t recall the last time they ever had to use that god-forsaken wooden room. It was designed with one purpose; _talking._ A chair, lantern, and a sealed door. Pretty basic, but the events that would unfold in a room like this…

Levi scoffed, approaching the door. Erwin leaned against it, arms crossed, and eyes closed.

“Erwin,” Levi spoke, catching the commander’s attention. “What is this about?”

A moment passed, and Erwin stepped forward from the door, dropping his arms. “Inside, there is someone I’d like you to meet.”

Levi, unimpressed and not in the mood to really mingle, spoke in a drawl, “I’m not interested in prostitutes.”

Erwin only hummed. It was hard getting this man to take off his serious attitude for only a moment. “Nothing like that, Levi. There is a boy in there, about ten years old,” he explained, “he’s from the Underground.”

Things slowly settled into place. _Ah…_ “You know, I’d almost think you were stereotyping me. What’s wrong with him? Don’t tell me you’re torturing a ten year old.”

Erwin scoffed, brushing off his comment. “Similar to your backstory, he was hired to kill a nobleman by another, same old wealth war. Military Police took custody of him, handed him over to us by my request.” Erwin shrugged, “A rather simple thank-you for keeping things tidy on their end. They’re arresting the man who hired the hit now.”

Levi didn’t understand why Erwin wanted a ten year-old. What, did he think Levi had some sort of odd little boy interest? He was only in his early twenties, and he can’t recall the last time he interacted with a child, nonetheless a twerp from the Underground. The kid was probably going to be a fucking handful, and if anything, Levi wanted to be far away from it. “Do you think this’ll give me some sort of weird sweet nostalgic sensation? I’m not interested.”

“I only feel like he’d listen to you.”

Odd. A weird, _odd_ thing to say. “You want me to babysit?”

“Sure. If that’s what you’d consider it.”

A long sigh left his mouth. He found himself heading towards the door, pointing his chin at Erwin and watching the man nod his blond head. Twitching an eyebrow, he unlocked the sealed door and entered it, closing it behind him as he looked at the scene.

The kid was tied to the chair.

Kind of brutal, wasn’t it?

Levi noticed the rag in his mouth, too. He wore raggedy clothes, mostly dark— as to blend in with the environment, he presumed— a cardigan, tied boots that reached to his mid-calf, baggy pants, hood ripped and torn. Scruffy brown hair, pale, ghostly skin that lacked sunlight, darkness under his eyes from the lack of vitamins.

Then, he saw it.

A sea-green.

Vast like dewed grasslands, a shine from the lantern like a burning sun rising over a valley, those round, shaking eyes stared at him with such vigor. Such resentment. They had never even met before, but Levi understood it. He understood seeing a man with free access to the sun and immediately feeling enmity. He knew it all too well.

That’s why, when Levi approached, he immediately tore the rag out of the kid’s mouth.

The kid coughed, clearing his throat several times and breathed like he ran a marathon. The gross rag was damp, and Levi tossed it aside.

“...Fuck you!”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Those are the first two words you want to tell your savior?” The kid leered at him. “You have a filthy fucking mouth, kid.”

“Says you,” the twerp had nothing better to retort with. Levi stared down at the child. “I’ve heard what you asses do to people like us. Y’gonna try to hurt me,” a pause, “y’re gonna tear out my teeth, my fingernails,” the kid flexed his hands, “and you’re gonna feed me to… to a Titan!”

Amused by the tale, hearing similar things growing up, he cooed. “Oh? Are you scared, little boy?”

“No!” The boy was quick. “I’m not scared of pigs!”

Levi hummed. “I suppose not. But, have you ever seen a pig before?”

“I’m looking at one…” the boy mumbled, but Levi knew he had never seen the actual animal. Levi wasn’t offended. It was entertaining to him.

“They’re round, fat pink creatures. They have fuzz all over their bodies,” Levi explained while crossing his arms and leaning against the opposite wall, directly in front of the boy. “Big snouts, curly tails,” he rambled, “stupid chubby faces…”

The boy listened with round eyes.

“Like you.”

He watched curiosity turn into infuriation. The boy tried to escape the chair. “I… I hate you! I hate you all!”

Levi watched the breakdown.

“You all tie me up! Make a joke outta me! Outta everything I have to do!” The boy cried out, “You can tease and threaten me all you want,” he opened his eyes to stare straight into Levi’s, “but ‘ya don’t scare me!”

A moment passed. The kid kept breathing heavily, chest rising and falling. If Levi looked carefully, he could see the little one tremble. His round fingers were clutching the ends of the chair, teeth grit, eyes dilated, but he still tried to pass off the act that he wasn’t scared. It wasn’t admirable, really. It’s the fake tough shit Levi hates seeing on people. Kids were inevitable to follow in that path, especially the poor goblins that lived in the Underground.

With that, Levi approached the boy, squatting and looking up at the boy who seemed to shake a little more. Burning, fiery anger still was expressed towards him.

“What’s your name, kid?”

The child looked unsettled by the question. “...Eren.”

Eren. Eren seemed uneasy, like he was accepting this was his fate. In a way, it was his fate.

“Eren, huh?” Levi eyed him and let a few seconds pass. “Yeah. That suits you.”

The boy’s cheeks puffed out defensively. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“A bitch name for a bitch kid.”

Ignoring the offended gasp, Levi moved towards the ropes that tied to Eren’s hands and began to untie them.

Eren was obviously confused by this. “H-hey! What are you doing?!”

When Levi was finished the last hand wrapped to the chair, he paused, glancing upwards at the boy. “What does it look like?”

“I…” Eren started, exasperated and his eyes searching Levi’s, before settling on, “Aren’t you... afraid?”

_Afraid?_

Looking at the child, he knew he could punt this puny thing into Wall Maria if he really wanted to. The boy was skinny, frail, probably malnourished to hell, lacking vitamins and would probably black out if anyone shoved him an inch or two. He could tell the kid was tired, clearly caught on the mission and revealed to be an Underground mercenary by intel. That, or it was obvious by the way he looked. It was very different from the commoners up on the surface.

Though, Levi had never seen eyes so bright, so vivid come out of the darkness like this. Not since...

He finished off the ropes wrapped around Eren’s legs. “Why would I be afraid of you?” Levi started, “You’re just a kid. If anything, you should be afraid of me.”

Eren frowned, before pouting his lips and asking, “Why?”

Levi didn’t boast about his title. He really, really didn’t. He loathed it. Though, he stood up after finishing Eren’s ropes and placed a hand on his chest. “I’m Humanity’s Strongest.” With that, Eren paled, even more than he was already.

“Are you scared now, little boy?”

The poor thing probably thought it was the end for him. Though, Levi was careful, “Be honest with yourself. If you’re not afraid, boy, then come at me.” He pointed to Eren’s arms and legs. “You have no restraints. It is just us. I am unarmed, and so are you.”

Ice gripped at the edges of his voice, threatening. “So, show me how you survived down in that fucking sewer of a city.”

Though, Eren didn’t stand up, Levi noticed. He remained on the seat.

Sniffles were heard, and he watched as tears flooded Eren’s eyes, and the boy’s head dropped to let out quiet, wracked sobs that shook his shoulders. Well, when Levi woke up today, he didn’t expect to make a little kid cry. Though, he wouldn’t comfort Eren. He didn’t want to touch Eren. He didn’t want anything to do with this kid, it was only a painful reminder, and he wanted to stay far, far away from any associations with the Underground. It was enough to have people still on the fence about his loyalty, still only a few years young in the Survey Corps.

“I’m… not afraid…” Eren managed out, a hiccup following after, “I’m not afraid!”

Even though the little boy tried to be strong, he wasn’t. Levi knew that. This boy was not strong.

“Of course you aren’t, kid.”

Eren glanced up at him, wiping at his runny nose with his sleeve, throat constricting small wheezes with each breath.

“You haven’t seen a Titan.”

With that, Levi turned on his heel, heading towards the door and not bothering listening to the kid for another minute. He stepped out, closing the door shut and glancing at Erwin, who was on the opposite wall.

“Well?”

Levi felt almost insulted at that word. “What the hell do you mean _well?_ This was a waste of time. Put that kid back where he came from.” He began to head down the hallway.

“He’s being put in your custody, Levi.”

A pause. Levi turned, giving a hard, cold stare at the commander. “What?”

Erwin gave a slow blink, not meeting Levi’s eye, staring at the door. “He’ll be of potential use. The kid’s smart, talented.”

“The kid’s a fucking idiot,” Levi managed out in disbelief, “He wouldn’t survive out here.”

“He’s not going to survive there, Levi, and we could use all the potential help in the field.”

Oh. So that’s what this was about. The Survey Corps.

Erwin didn’t care much for the kid’s safety and health, if he had family to run back to, the fact that most people in the Underground didn’t live past twenty when brought to the surface. They weren’t accustomed to this, fabled to succumb to diseases on the outside world. Levi was the lucky one.

“What’s his name?” Erwin then asked. Levi felt a tad embarrassed, but not surprised that the man knew he managed to smuggle out his name without trying.

“Eren.”

“Last name?” Levi shook his head. Erwin rubbed his chin before shrugging. “That’s fine. We’ll find out eventually.” So confident in himself, “Regardless, you’ll bring him back to your place.”

“No. I can’t. That’s _my_ space, and I don’t have enough room. He needs to sleep somewhere else.”

The commander gave in. At least Levi won at one of these battles. “All right, he’ll sleep at the orphanage, then.”

Raising an eyebrow, he challenged, “You’re declaring him an orphan, now? I didn’t even ask him where his parents were.”

“When he’s up here, they’re declared dead.”

Levi didn’t feel the need to argue anymore. It was exhausting. Well, he supposed that’s Eren’s own personal gripe with the commander.

“Fine.”

He went back inside and slammed the door open, trying not to tear it off with his hands and teeth. Levi stared at the kid who had his hands in his lap, clutching at something. Raising an eyebrow, the kid clearly hid it in his cardigan pocket. Now, were the soldiers too cowardly to properly sift a ten year old? _Whatever._ If Eren wanted to shank him, be his guest.

“Kid.”

Eren gawked at him.

“Come with me.”

“But… but…”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re not going to kill you, brat, unless you stay in this damn room and starve to death. Get up.”

Eren was hesitant, but he managed to stand on his feet, wobbling only the slightest. Though, the twerp was more than confident enough to prove to Levi that he ‘wasn’t afraid’ and kept walking. Levi turned back, and noticed Erwin was gone.

That scumbag.

The boy finally left the room, but Levi turned around to address him. “I’m going to give you a set of rules now. One, you do not leave without my permission, and don’t wander off or try to escape. If you do, I’ll make sure to assign you to the front lines of the Survey Corps and have you torn limb by limb from Titans.”

Eren’s eyes turned wide.

“Two, I don’t want you touching me. Don’t try to hold my hand.”

The kid scoffed at that. “You have old man hands. I don’t want to touch those.”

“Three, I will hit you if I need to, Eren. Do not fucking try me.” Eren winced.

Though, Eren shuffled before growling out, “Fuck you…”

With that, Levi squatted down to meet with Eren at eye-level. “And don’t _fucking_ swear. It’s rude.”

“But you—”

“I’m an adult,” Levi gestured, “I can do whatever the hell I please. You are ten years old and a nuisance to me.”

“I’m eleven…”

Eleven, then, someone got the wrong information. “Even so, snotty brats shouldn’t swear in front of their superiors.” With that, Levi stood up. “Now, let’s go.” He seemed to sap the energy out of Eren with those words, because the boy no longer argued with him, trailing behind.

“You’ll be staying here. I’ll check on you sometimes, but overall, this is your new home. Congratulations.”

They both stood in front of an orphanage. There were a few kids playing outside and splashing in the rain puddles left over from the morning’s quiet rainfall, merchants passing by, villagers conversing with one another in front of homes. It was a comfortable little place within Wall Sina, more near the ghetto part, but safer than most places. Safer than the Underground.

Eren squinted, looking up at the sign, mouth changing formation with each letter. Levi watched him, frowning, wondering, “Can you read?”

“Yes,” he affirmed with red on his face. “That word is just… big.”

Levi looked up to stare at the display. “It says orphanage.” Following the silence, he returned back to Eren, who seemed upset. “What’s with that look?”

“I don’t want to be an orphan.”

A moment of silence passed. “Neither did I, kid. I don’t think anyone really does. But you’re better off here than you were there,” Levi sighed. Not wanting to get personal or hear the kid’s pestering questions, he went inside, Eren following behind and seeing the caretaker, a ginger woman with freckles adorning her features.

“Captain Levi!” She said, a little surprised as she bounced a tot on her hip who sucked its thumb quietly, “What are you doing here?”

“Putting a new kid in.”

She blinked. “Oh, uh, okay. Where is he?” The caretaker peered around him to see Eren shyly standing behind Levi. Levi turned to witness this too, internally amused that the _‘fuck you I’m not scared’_ kid was so meek.

The lady set the child on her hip a distance away, who went off to probably draw or some kindergarten shit Levi didn’t care about. The woman crouched to be eye-level, clearly handling something like this before. “Hi, there. I’m Emilia. What’s your name?”

Eren clenched his black cardigan. “...Eren.”

Emilia looked up at Levi. “Eren Ackerman?” She tried to confirm.

Levi turned ghostly. No way in hell would he ever want to be confused as a father-figure for this brat. “No, he’s not my kid.”

“Oh…” Emilia sighed out, “my apologies.” She then looked at Eren and smiled, hazel eyes amiable. “What’s your last name sweetheart?”

“...Yeager…”

_Eren Yeager._

“Well, you’ll be staying here, okay?” She smiled as she assured him. “You look a little hungry, what’s your favorite food?”

Eren was quiet. Levi watched this interaction closely. Then, the kid’s voice choked, “I don’t know.”

Emilia gave a concerned frown, looking at Levi, before returning it back to Eren. “Do you like a certain soup? Broth? Stuffed meat? Dessert?”

The brunette seemed to get overwhelmed, clutching at the edges of his cardigan, staring at the floor as his eyes were small and flickering about. “I like… bread…” he whispered. “Bread with butter.”

Damn, this kid must have been in it bad if the only food that came to his head was bread and butter.

Patient, though very, very lost, Emilia gave a weak nod and stood up. “Okay, dear. Let’s get you some bread and butter.” She offered out a hand, clenching it a few times, and Eren hesitantly took it. “Such skinny little hands you have,” Emilia commented. “Captain, can you please stick around when Eren gets all settled?”

“Sure.” The captain sat on the chair near the lounge, legs and arms crossed, staring emptily at the brick in front of him.

The kid didn’t even have a favorite food.

When Levi was young, he had ties to food. With Kenny, it wasn’t hard to manage to find a chef. He supposed Eren was only eleven, and must’ve been in the rougher spot, left to fend for himself. Levi cursed the comparison in his head.

“Hi, Captain Levi.” He turned his head to see Emilia approach him. “Can I get a bit of background on young Yeager?”

Levi would be brutally honest. “He’s from the Underground.” Emilia’s eyes widened. He could tell by the sudden fearful expression before it turned into one of forced understanding. “He was also hired to kill somebody.”

Emilia was deathly quiet. Levi, however, slowly turned his eyes to meet with hers, really daring her to say anything. He knew how the surface-dwellers felt about the Underground folk. He also knew that it was even worse in Wall Sina, upperclassmen rude and unforgiving.

Though, the girl nodded. “I understand. He’ll need to be given extra love and attention, then.”

Levi processed those words slowly. “Yeah.”

When he finalized all the necessary documentation, he headed out. Though, he paused right at the doorway, and looked back. Why, did he wonder, _why did he look back?_ Levi was a witness to Eren leaning against a wall, a buttered bread roll in his hand, crumbs on his cheeks as he ate it with watery eyes. Then, Levi noticed a key in his other hand, gripped tight with white knuckles, a thumb caressing the edges.

It wasn’t even a shank. It was a key.

To where, Levi wondered.

—

“So, these are his citizenship documents?”

Laid on Levi’s desk were the documents declaring Eren Yeager an official citizen, and no longer an Underground lowlife, as what they pertained. Erwin had come inside and settled the papers in front of Levi, who leaned back on his chair, arms crossed and hands pressed against each other.

Erwin nodded. “Yes. You’ll need to sign them.”

“Me?” Levi scoffed. “It should be you. You vouch for that damn kid.”

The commander, however, refused. “It can’t be me. I signed yours.”

Shit.

Levi raised an eyebrow. “What, you only get one Underground mutt per person? What if I want five of those awful, disgusting gangsters?”

“Levi.”

Rolling his head back, Levi grit his teeth. “Fine.” Grabbing the quill, he signed his name, trying not to let it bother him that he basically owned a person.

“Don’t worry. A few years pass, and he’ll be off your hands.”

Yeah. Like that ever turned out in the end. He was still under this tall man’s thumb. Erwin picked up the papers and turned. Levi watched him leave, feeling frustration boil in his gut. Licking between his teeth, he turned his chair to stare out the window blankly.

It had been about a week since he dropped Eren off. He hadn’t seen the boy since he left that orphanage. Though, admittedly, the image of Eren eating that bread and looking so overwhelmingly satisfied was caught in the back of his eyelids. When he tried to sleep, he saw it. He saw the fine detail of the key being held tight by pale, skinny fingers, crumbs pasted near his mouth, sea-green shining with such a simple emotion.

Contentment.

So complex to achieve, but so, so easy once one has it.

Earlier before, seeing those eyes, it reminded him of a certain enthusiastic girl he knew when young. Strawberry red hair, green eyes, pigtails... 

_Levi-bro, take care of him, will you?_

Shooting up in his chair, clutching onto the edges, his heart began to thump against his ribcage like a rabid animal. Levi clutched onto his hair. He hadn’t heard that voice in so long, hearing it call out to him like that, it pained him.

Levi grit his teeth, breath caught in his throat, before he found himself standing up abruptly. His chair swung back and hit the wall as he did so, grabbing his tan Survey Corps-designed jacket and exiting his office.

Villagers would gawk at him. Some would grimace. There were mixed reactions to his mere existence alone, he appreciated the ones that just did not look at him at all. Levi found himself heading towards a familiar part of the district.

Kids began to run past, laughing as they screamed about ‘tag’ or whatever. Levi stopped in front of the orphanage.

Well. What a sight.

Eren was seated on the steps. His hands cupped both of his cheeks as he stared at the ground, curled up in himself.

“Kid.”

The boy glanced up, blinking in surprise. “You…”

Levi blinked slowly. “What’s with that dumb expression on your face?”

Eren frowned, offended, and looked away. “Nothing.”

“Well, if it’s nothing, don’t cry yourself to sleep at night about it.” Levi crossed his arms, staring down at Eren with bemusement.

The kid sighed, kicking at the step. “...I don’t belong here,” he mumbled. It was almost so quiet, so muffled, that Levi was lucky enough to pick it up. If one of those children had been scream-laughing, he would’ve missed it.

“Why’s that?”

Eren shrugged, looking to the side sheepishly before glancing upwards at the sky, although mostly blocked by buildings. “I’m not from around here… so…” he bit the inside of his cheek before his eyes were downcast again.

Levi hummed. “So, you’re a loser with no friends?”

Embarrassed about it, Eren scoffed. “I had plenty of friends back home!”

“Yeah, well, this is your home now, kid.” With that, Eren recoiled, pulling his knees closer and burying his chin in them. “Get used to it. At least pretend to be happy.” The kid was pathetic, really. Moping.

The older man pointed upwards. “You get to see the sky.”

Round eyes blinked at him, before they gazed up at the large azure above. It was a little cloudy, not much sun, but it was more than enough. “A lot of kids your age die wanting to see this. A lot of them don’t get to. Consider yourself lucky. So what if you think you don’t belong?”

Levi clenched his jaw. “Then make yourself belong. Make yourself useful.”

Eren stared at him.

Before Levi had come down to the orphanage, he had actually visited a market. It was brief, quick, as he had only one thing in mind. He didn’t spend much time in markets, as anything was really supplied at the military housing. Levi approached Eren, crouching downwards to be eye-level and handing him a buttered sweet roll in a napkin.

Eren’s eyes shined at it. “Is that… for me, sir?”

“Yes.”

Hesitant little hands, shaking with anxiety, slowly pulled the bun from his grasp. Eren held it with both hands, looking down at it. “It’s still warm.”

Levi was nonchalant. “Yes. It is.”

Eren looked upset. Not in the way where he was ungrateful, but in a way where it was such an act, he wanted to cry. Levi watched him closely before standing back up, seeing watery eyes follow him. “Why… are you nice to me?”

The question caught him off guard. “What?”

“You’re the only one who is nice to me…” the boy said quietly.

What was he supposed to say? Because he saw his shitty self in a shitty kid? He felt pitiful for how pathetic Eren was? Tears and snot, for some reason, gave Levi a soft spot? Like an insane, grieving freak, he heard the voice of his dead sister?

“I just feel sorry for you.”

Those words were strong enough to make Eren’s breath pause. He watched as Eren looked around before landing on the roll. “Oh.”

Not very kind, Levi, but the kid needed to hear brutal honesty, he supposed. Better from Levi than from someone else, perhaps.

“See you around, kid.”

—

**One Year Later**

  
  


Finishing a two week long patrol and guard, it was near dark out, and Levi was still in his green cloak, exhausted. It had been a while since he was within Wall Sina.

He had been beckoned to clear titans near Wall Rose. It took forever, the rides were long, and the new cadets were restless, anxious and bothering Levi every ten seconds. The Garrison was struggling due to the massive body count from Maria two years ago. It was devastating, and the Survey Corps were forced to get involved.

Levi slugged through the streets, dawn on the horizon. Why did the capital have to be so far?

The streets were getting more and more vaguely familiar. That was until he recognized it; this was where the orphanage was.

He did visit the orphanage every once in a while, not as frequently as he should’ve, but enough to make sure the kid was alive and to say hi. Levi had enough to deal with, a child was definitely not on his list of wants to take care of. Though, a guilty feeling would always nag at the back of his head when it’d been weeks.

There were no kids running about. He supposed it had gotten late. Though, just like a familiar memory, Eren was seated on the steps, staring ahead blankly with a deep jade jacket covering him and a red scarf loose around his shoulders.

Levi approached him. “Oi.”

“Captain Levi…” Eren said, adjusting his back a bit. “You’re here…”

However, when Levi got closer, he spotted the bruise. It was prominent around Eren’s eye, swollen and dark, causing that familiar green to dim.

Levi scowled and crouched, harshly cupping Eren’s face and hearing the boy hiss in pain. “‘The hell happened to you?”

Eren looked away. “Nothing… I fell.”

“Bullshit.”

“Why do you care?” Eren smacked at his hand, tearing it away. “You don’t even want to be around me!”

Levi sighed. “Eren, just tell me who fucking decked you and why.”

After a moment, and Eren knowing that Levi would not back down, he gave in. “...These kids at school.” The captain nodded, urging him to keep talking. “They… they know I’m Underground.” Levi didn’t want to feel the way his heart drop the way it did. “They keep pickin’ on me! And… and I tried to take Miss Emilia’s advice and ignore them, but…” Eren winced, “they just go too far sometimes…”

“What’d they say to you, Eren?”

Eren shook his head, pulling his scarf near his nose and hugging his knees. “I don’t wann’ say.”

Levi, exasperated, tried his best to stay patient with the twelve year old. “Talking about it always helps, you know.”

It was quiet for a while. Though he knew Eren was thinking about it, the way his eyes flickered about, reading his head. Levi would wait.

“It’s embarrassing.” Eren’s voice cracked, full of emotion, but trying not to cry. “I… I’m just embarrassed. About myself, all the time…” For a moment, Levi thought that was it, but he kept going. “They keep saying I’m diseased… that if they talk to me, they’ll breathe the Underground air, an’ get sick…”

His lips pouted, eyes watering. “An’ they tried to say… say how I’m a runt, who got up here because my mama’s a whore, an’ she married a rich guy up here… an’...” Eren began to sniffle, “They can’t talk about mama like that. So I punched one of ‘em… they got back at me, and I started to beat one up really bad until the teacher got us.” After a breath, Eren continued, “...They are scared of me.”

Levi listened to him, feeling his eyes wince and glance at the ground for a moment. His hands rubbed together, elbows resting on his squatted knees. He didn’t need much information from there.

“No, Eren.” Levi moved to sit beside Eren on the steps, folding his hands together as he let them rest between his legs. “They can’t talk about your mother like that,” he reaffirmed. A little more confident, Eren nodded sadly. “Is your mother kind?” Levi asked, wanting to know more about the squirt for once.

Eren’s eyes turned round, a little distant as he stared at the ground.

“She’s dead.”

Levi was taken aback by the sudden grave tone. It was so deep, so unbelievably distant and forlorn, that he wondered if something possessed this bruised, haughty child.

“I’m sorry about that.”

What was he supposed to say? Levi really hated children.

“...She was nice.”

Levi looked at the younger. Eren’s eyes shimmered with emotion, glistening under the dawn’s light, lost in memory. “What happened to her?” Levi asked.

Eren glanced up at Levi before tugging on the red scarf. “...She got sick. I tried to get my papa to help… that’s all he did, was try to help…” Sadness covered the boy’s face, “...but he’s gone now, too.”

So, Eren really was an orphan.

_“I don’t want to be an orphan.”_

Shit. Levi kind of hated himself for not asking more personal questions about the boy. While he found Eren most pitiful, most sad and embarrassing, the kid was going through his own fair share of shit. The least Levi could’ve done is at least ask where the hell his parents were, tell them he was okay.

...Not like he could’ve. Still. The sentiment would’ve relieved the guilt.

“Yet you’re here,” Levi said. “You’re on the surface. You escaped the Underground. You’re a citizen.” He tried to list off reasons why the kid should be happy, and not sniffling at the fact mama and papa were dead, or some rich snobs at school were mean. “Are you not proud?”

Eren frowned. “They’re scared of me.”

Levi hummed, recalling the time they had first met. The older man was untying the ropes around the boy, who asked if Levi was scared of him. It was such a curious question, the captain needed to know the answer. “Should they be scared of you? Are you a scary boy, Eren?”

The brunette looked at him with curiosity. Eren looked at his bandaged hands. “I think so.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I hurt them… and I hurt other people, too.” Eren squeezed his damaged hands together, causing him to wince. “I’ve killed. I killed someone.”

Levi was quiet. “So, we have a little murderer. What about it?” Eren looked at him with shock. “I think we’ve all killed before. These people kill bugs, plants, animals. The cells in their bodies die everyday. They push others to kill themselves, like how they treat you,” he listed, “I’ve killed before.”

“You have?”

Levi nodded.

Eren blinked before looking to the ground. “Captain Levi…” he started. Levi hummed in response. “...Are you… are you from the Underground, too?”

The captain paused. He froze, more like. 

He didn’t really think the kid would figure it out. Well, inevitably, maybe he would. Staring at the twelve year old, watching him anxiously peer his green eyes up at Levi and tear them away when he caught the captain staring, Levi only sighed.

“Where’d you learn that?”

Eren blinked up at him. “Um… kids… they also say I’m…” he winced, “I’m your son, so that’s why I’m here… ‘cause you were part of the Underground, too.”

Levi cringed. So, it will take some time for people to forget that. He saves their asses everyday, and yet… “Well. What do you think, Eren?”

The kid clearly did not enjoy being put on the spot. “Huh? About what?”

“The idea of me coming from the Underground. What do you think about it?”

Eren had his wrapped hands rub together. It was getting colder as the sun began to sink into the horizon. “Well… um… I think that’s… really amazing, if true.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Amazing?”

The brunette gave a small laugh, and for some reason, Levi enjoyed hearing it. “Yeah! I… I don’t know. You’re Humanity’s Strongest, right? So… if the strongest soldier came from the Underground… that’d mean we can still be good people, and do good things for everyone.” Eren gave a big grin, “I think… it would make me feel powerful, too.”

He didn’t really have words. Not only did this kid call him powerful, but a good person who does good things. Was he? Eren wasn’t aware of how he was a burden to Levi. He wasn’t aware that Levi didn’t like the way he had a snotty nose when he cried, or how round his face was. Levi didn’t enjoy hearing a kid blabber about nonsense. Levi felt pity with those in the Underground, he didn’t think about them, he didn’t feel anything. As much as he grew up there, it was a hard place, and Levi wasn’t the type of person to try to redeem everyone who went through what he did.

So why? Why did he want to redeem Eren? Was it because Eren said nice things to him? Is he just selfish?

Levi didn’t want to be someone a community looked to be. He was an incredibly flawed human being. He had his moments where he hated himself, and moments where he felt proud to be where he was, and then the in-betweens where he was numb. Having an idolized version of himself, it just felt wrong.

Though… the way Eren’s eyes lit up, the way he talked about Levi like a hero, especially with the black eye and the dried tears on his cheeks, it was pulling Levi towards a dangerous tide. He was not keen on being so soft towards a brat who he wanted nothing to do with.

“Well, kid. I appreciate the compliments.” Eren looked at him, surprised. “Yeah. I’m from the Underground.”

Eren gave a quiet noise of amazement. “Wow… really?! ...Why didn’t you say so?”

Why didn’t Levi say anything?

“I’d much rather leave it in the past,” Levi admitted hesitantly.

This seemed to disappoint Eren. The kid looked sad, shuffling around in an antsy manner, eyebrows furled together. “Really…?”

“Yeah.”

A breeze blew past them in their silence. “Do you think I should leave it in the past, too?” That question was loaded. Levi didn’t even know how to process Eren’s words for a moment. This advice would be heavy, as the past could alter anything about a person, regardless of their future.

Levi looked at Eren. “You’re not me, boy. If you want to leave it, go ahead.” Usually he’d leave it there; an open ending for anyone to interpret. “But it’s with you forever. It doesn’t leave. I don’t think it’s left me quite yet.” Then, Levi looked at the sky, watching the violet hues behind the pink clouds, memories of that very first day outside the walls. It was even more beautiful out there. No pollution, no smoke, no builds, just pure, endless, eternal blue. He wanted to die looking at it; finally finding peace. “The sky still… amazes me.”

Eren looked up, too, nudging at his scarf. “It is pretty.”

So they sat there and looked at the sky for a while. Two Underground runts, orphans, and nobodies, brought together with the endless heavens. It was a little poetic.

“Will you come around more often, Captain Levi?” Levi glanced down at the boy with an inquisitive look. Eren looked a little shy. “Even though you don’t say much… I feel better with you here.”

Levi hummed. “Even if I’ll kill you if you’re stupid?”

This only made the boy laugh a bit. “Yeah.”

“Dumb brat,” Levi sighed out, Eren puffing out his cheeks at him. “I’ll see what I can do.” _I’ll try._

Eren smiled at Levi.

It was kind of nice.

—

Being given a Special Operations squad, it felt rejuvenating. Finally, Erwin would entrust some command in Levi. Seeing the list of special cadets he hand-picked, he had a good feeling, really. They were all very talented with good chemistry, coming from the same training regiment team.

The expedition was tomorrow. He would hold a cup of tea, lean back in a chair, and watch as Oulo and Gunther squabbled over logistics.

Petra took a seat beside him. He could hear the chair grate against the wooden flooring before being tucked in. “Captain Levi, are you enjoying the show, too?”

Returning only a hum of acknowledgement, Eld had stepped in, attempting to diffuse the situation, only to get caught up in the fire.

“Well… Captain, I wanted to thank you for letting us be a part of the squad.” With that, Levi turned his head, looking at Petra with an inquisitive look. “We’ll work our hardest. I promise you that.”

Levi scoffed. “Don’t promise me. Just show me. That’s what keeps you alive.”

A silence pulled over them. “Captain Levi, when this expedition is over…” she murmured, “...What do you look forward to?”

“Huh? What does that mean?” Levi set down his teacup, twisting his body a bit to face Petra naturally. His arm rested on the back of the chair while lounging.

Petra sheepishly shrugged, leaning forward on the table and folding her elbows on it. “Like, why do you do it? I do it because I’d like to go back and see my father, make him proud.” A glint in her eye showed, reflecting on the past.

Levi shrugged. He didn’t exactly have family to go back to. He didn’t really have friends he cared much about that weren’t already in the Survey Corps… no lover, no children.

Sea-green eyes.

A disturbed chill forced its way around his body as the dawning realization came to him. Levi peered into the dark liquid that contained his warm tea, seeing the lights reflecting in it. While he had visited Eren more frequently than he did the year prior, he didn’t want to find himself attached to the snot-nosed brat. “There is someone.”

Petra perked. “Oh? Who are they?”

Levi winced. “Just some kid.” Just some kid, that’s exactly what Eren was. He just happened to come from the Underground. There was no relevance, no importance to that sniveling boy’s existence. Eren was a burden he was forced to bear, and he gave him attention out of pity. “He’s in my custody,” he continued, “not by choice.”

The woman, although lost on the way Levi would go from talking fondly to brushing the child off, nodded. “Of course… children always tug on our heart-strings, don’t they?”

He didn’t even tell Eren he was leaving tomorrow.

Levi abruptly stood up, the table and chair shaking, tea wobbling in its cup. He stared with a hardened expression, thought circling around the one idea that he was a terrible, terrible person.

_Ah… don’t hate me, Eren._

Petra watched as the short man fixed his jacket on himself. “Captain, where are you off to?”

Levi glanced back at her. “The kid.” With that, he abruptly left the premises, his shoes almost burning into the pavement as he walked. Levi didn’t have too much time, he had to get plenty of sleep, prepare at dawn, and spend the entire day fighting for his life.

He was okay when passerbys would look at him with a grimace. It was normal, he got used to it over time. It’d take time before they forgot and simply upheld him to the achievements of Erwin, for example. As if he’d ever get there, but Levi would do what he can to keep the Survey Corps alive. Maybe not as intensely as the commander, but just enough.

When one would go farther down the walls, there was less discretion about the Underground dwellers. While people within Wall Sina were more obsessed with pure blood, the others wanted you to show your importance with your work. Levi could appreciate that. No shortcuts.

Arriving at the orphanage, he noticed the lack of a certain boy on the steps. He was often there everyday. Levi frowned, moving towards the nearby alleyway and peering down. There was scuffling and a hushed voice, and the man slowly went down the valley of two buildings, alert.

Then, a boy came tumbling back from a force, landing on his ass and giving a harsh, “Shit!”

He recognized that boy.

“Language,” Levi chided. Large eyes averted towards him, and Eren began to stumble onto his own two feet, folding his arms behind his back. His face was red and a little sweaty. Frowning, the captain approached the twelve year old, careful. “...What are you doing?” Levi looked towards the direction Eren came from and found only towers of barrels, crates, abandoned baskets, and broken furniture.

Eren kicked his foot. “Nothing…”

A long sigh released from the older man’s mouth. “I really hate when you lie to me, brat. Stop being a little snot.”

Eren pinched his lips together before giving in. “I was trying to get something…”

Levi straightened his back. “What was it?”

For a moment, Eren seemed hesitant before moving near the corner of the other building and pointing up at a few crates. They were taller than him, and just barely over the head of Levi. Levi could see the scattered barrels and baskets surrounding the crates, showcasing that Eren was trying to build steps. “There’s a book up there, but I can’t reach it.”

Levi let his hand slide to the top of the crate, tapping around before feeling a leather-clad book. He gripped it and slid it down, adjusting to hold it with two hands and gazing intently at it. _The Old World, huh?_

“I didn’t take you as the type to read things like this, kid,” Levi admitted, wiping off the dirt stains with a thumb. It was worn, ragged. “How’d you know this was up here?” He began to flip through the pages, seeing geographical studies.

A small voice came from the boy. “Well… Armin was being teased by the jerks and they tossed it up there, so I tried to get it for him…”

Curious, Levi looked down at Eren. “Armin?”

Eren rocked on his heels. “A friend. He got transferred from Shiganshina a while ago, I guess. I just found out he existed a few weeks ago.”

 _A friend, huh?_ Levi looked at the boy, before returning it to the book. “Is he a good kid?”

Then, the cheesiest grin crossed Eren’s face. “He’s kind of a dork— a super dork who reads things like that. He tries to get me to read them, too. I like the pictures in them. He talks about the ocean, sandfields of ice…” Eren began to ramble, “but the others aren’t nice to him, either.”

With a hum, Levi closed the book, giving it to Eren. “Well, I’m sure he’ll be glad to know you got it back for him.”

“I was too short, though,” Eren sighed.

Levi took a better look at the kid. He was certainly growing fast, almost level with Levi’s chest. “Don’t talk about short with me, kid,” Levi mumbled. “Twenty years strong with that garbage.”

Eren tilted his head. “Are you short?”

They began to walk down the alleyway together. Levi grit his teeth. “I wish I wasn’t.”

“Why?”

Why, Levi asked many times in his head, why is he short. “They underestimate me because of my height. It’s a fucking nuisance.”

Eren had a look of befuddlement. “But you’re Humanity’s Strongest. Why should your height matter?”

Levi paused when they turned the corner back onto the street. He looked down at Eren. “It doesn’t, kid. It doesn’t matter at all. It makes me faster, anyways.” Eren smiled at that. When Eren hopped on a step, Levi called out to him. “Eren.”

Eren twirled on his heel, hands in his jacket’s pockets, large, shining eyes blinking at him. Levi took it in, as it might be his last. “I’m going on an expedition tomorrow. It’s going to be a long one, and I don’t know when I’m coming back.” _When._ Levi never made false promises like that before, and he berated himself for it.

The younger, however, shrugged. “That’s okay. You’ll come back anyway, and we’ll talk about things like height again.”

Though, he could tell Eren was burying his worry. Eren seemed fine without him before, but he could see the loneliness dampen the corners of his eyes whenever Levi would mention it. He’d go days, sometimes weeks, without seeing the squirt. While Levi kept convincing himself he didn’t care, he knew Eren did.

“That’s why I wanna join the Survey Corps.”

Levi froze. “What?”

Eren faced Levi and smiled wide. “Yeah. I mean, you guys are so… brave! And… and I wanna do what you do, and show people that I’m not just some gangster. I can be strong, and I can save their lives, too.” Levi felt himself breaking with each word. “So, I am trying to enlist to go to the training regime next year, because I’ll be thirteen!”

He had no words. Usually, he’d be at least a little pleased to hear they had an extra set of hands with the outside expeditions. This, though…

This was a boy.

This was a child he was watching grow up from afar.

The sniveling, pathetic, pitiful child, who didn’t know how to do anything but feel sorry for himself.

The one who held a stupid key around with him like a good luck charm, who didn’t know how to shut his mouth, who lied to himself.

Levi felt his face twitch with annoyance. “You don’t need to join, kid,” he said without thinking, “You have a comfortable life here. Make bread instead.”

Even though Levi was trying to save his life, not only out in the field but here in this street where the sun was setting once more quietly, Eren was not pleased with this. “But, why do that when I could be out there with you?”

No. No, no, he didn’t want this. He didn’t want this kid clinging to him. In no way was Levi ready to have this brat, this snot-nosed _monster,_ follow him into the depths of Titan hell. This kid would see a Titan and start crying, he was sure of it. Levi wanted to spare him the embarrassment, most definitely, for it would be embarrassing for Eren, and no other reason. “No.”

Eren blinked. “No?”

“You’re not joining.”

Dark, thick brows curled together. “Yes, I am! You can’t stop me!”

“You’re joining for a selfish reason.”

Eren looked taken back. “Didn’t you join for a selfish reason, too?!”

The captain heard a dry leaf graze against the cobblestone. Annoyed, Levi grit out, “You do not talk to your superiors that way, you fucking shit.” Levi approached Eren, nearly hovering over the kid who was on a step. “You will not survive out there. Do you understand? You’re better off here. So many people would be blessed to be where you are. Don’t you dare fucking throw it away just because you have some weird sacrificial agenda to follow me.”

Eren frowned. “Well… well if that’s the case, shouldn’t I use my luck to get people to where I am?! Isn’t that what you represent?” He grit his teeth before spitting out, “Freedom?!”

Levi clenched his fists tightly, nails digging into his palms.

“No one here likes me, Captain Levi! They all shove me around, they think I’m weak, and stupid… and diseased!” Eren squeezed his eyes shut. “Even the merchants, the shopkeepers, they all know who I am! So why can’t I use my spared life to spare others?!”

 _You’re a horrible child,_ he thought, _you are such a wretched, lonely little child._ That’s what he wanted to say. However, he released his white-knuckled grip and allowed his hand to smear through his ink black strands of hair. “You are the most stubborn piece of shit I have ever met. Don’t talk like a smartass to me again.”

Eren huffed. “Well, maybe _you’re_ the smartass…”

“Excuse me?”

The boy blanked before plopping on the steps with his ass, staring emptily ahead. “If I can’t make my own choices, then how is this place any different from the Underground?” Eren’s voice was quiet, with a hint of longing, “At least people understood me there.”

_You’re lucky you didn’t get fucking sold to perverted old men._

That’s what he wanted to say. 

“You’re the only one who is supposed to understand me,” Eren continued, “but you won’t. You look at me just like them.”

Levi was aggrieved. “And how’s that?”

“Like… like I disgust you.”

Impassive, Levi took his words with a hollow heart. Why did Eren disgust him? He didn’t often believe all children were filthy and wretched. Levi thought nothing of them most of the time. Of course, he’d prefer not to be caught with one, but he didn’t adamantly revere them like he did with this twelve year old boy.

Most of the time he was a hypocrite. Even though he said how he felt a growing pity for this child, how seeing the brat snivel and cry made him cringe, or the way he’d pronounce words or ask questions about the simplest things would give him headaches, Levi kept coming back. It was not legally required for him to physically be here. Yet, Levi kept returning to this imputent boy, who got into fights, beat other boys up, who _killed_ someone.

It sounds a little familiar.

If he got Eren to hate him just as much as Levi apparently hated Eren, then maybe the kid wouldn’t dote on him. If Levi died, Eren wouldn’t think the only person who cared about him died, because nobody cared about him. Or, maybe, Eren would be deterred from the Survey Corps, disgusted with the concept of being anywhere in Levi’s proximity, especially in an environment of trust and loyalty.

Levi settled on it.

“Because you do.”

—

He survived.

Despite it all, he survived.

An entire month outside of the walls, traversing and exploring, killing Titans and watching soldiers die slow, painful deaths. Some were quick, and those were the lucky ones. Levi recalled a particular blonde girl being nibbled on like a cookie, legs being gnawed off slowly as horses whinnied in fear and scampered amongst the field. Did Erwin find what he was looking for, in the end? An answer to his stupid question?

Levi had collapsed in his bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly, still in full attire, aside from discarded annoyances like secure straps and boots. The clean part of him wanted to cry out in agony at the idea of all the germs and dirt getting on his sheets, but the battle-worn side spoke louder.

He wanted to rest. It’d be easy to. 

That sounded nice. Sleeping. It was a great concept, really. He found his eyelids drooping.

_“Because you do.”_

_Eren gawked at him, and it looked like all the stars in the sky suddenly vanished, leaving a cold, void night. Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes before he turned his cheek away from Levi._

_The kid didn’t even try to argue. He just slumped on the steps, looking miserable as shit._

_...Well, maybe Levi was regretting it at this point. Eren only cried, giving wracked sobs, holding his face with his puny hands._

_Levi sat beside Eren, but the boy inched away from him, muttering a slur of “get away from me”._

_Though, Eren didn’t try to run away or shove him away. They just sat as Eren wept._

_He broke Eren’s heart._

_Maybe he was too harsh on the kid. Before, when he saw Eren cry, he got annoyed. While this was a little frustrating, he wasn’t directing all of it at Eren anymore. It was mostly Levi’s fault this time._

_“Sorry, Eren,” Levi spoke, hearing Eren’s hiccups quiet down. “I just don’t want you to get yourself killed.” Eren wiped his nose with his sleeve, glancing at Levi with dewy eyes. “I… I don’t know how to express that properly,” he confessed._

_He winced hearing Eren give a shaken breath. “Just… stop crying. Please.”_

...And then Eren _apologized_ for crying.

Levi’s eyes suddenly turned wide. He moved a forearm to cover his eyes, groaning out into the air. During the expedition, he didn’t exactly have free time. Considering that night was right before their departure, Levi didn’t have the spirit to dwell on it while he was scouting. Now, he knew, it’d hit like bricks, and he’d just want to see the cheeky crybaby again.

Dragging his fingers down his face, feeling his face stretch with his harsh tug, Levi only flopped over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. No, what he needed to do was sleep.

It was dark at first.

Though, there were rays of light beading at Levi’s gaze. Blinking the fogginess away, Levi sat up, wincing at his stiff back. He looked behind to see it was no longer his normal bed, but a wooden one, similar to what he’d bunk in when residing in the Underground.

Confused, he stood up, wobbling a bit. Levi trudged through the dark, dirty room, made of cement and wooden pillars. Levi was a bit drained, boots dragging and crunching gravel beneath them. He noticed the light beneath a door ahead of him.

Levi managed to work himself to the opposite wall and grab the door handle, yanking the wooden structure open. Rubbing at his eyes, he saw he was actually in the Underground.

Speechless, he managed his way down the alleys and streets.

It was deathly quiet. There was no one in sight. Levi, a little disturbed, gave out a seeking, “Hello?”

It only echoed throughout the abandoned city. Everything was exactly where it was all those years ago, merchant carts abandoned, food rotting on the sides of buildings, cracked and dusty. Levi then heard it.

That familiar crying.

Clutching his fists together, he began to hurry his limp, hearing the echoes reverberate across the city. 

“Eren…?” Levi managed out before coughing, feeling his insides ache. His entire body ached, but he had to keep going forward. He had to hear those cries, find those cries, and silence them.

Levi stopped when he recognized it. The old brothel. The one where he was founded by Kenny, and where his mother died.

He couldn’t. Levi turned around before hearing a loud, broken sob, almost pleading for him to come inside. The captain couldn’t handle it. Where was this hell? Why was he repenting?

Biting his tongue, he slammed the brothel’s door open, glancing at the keys and noticing there was only one on the counter, ready for him to take. It was Eren’s key, he noticed when picking it up, recognizing the shape. 

Rushing up the steps, he stopped at the top, nearly collapsing to his knees as his body felt like it was on fire. Levi shook, giving a few gulps of breath before pushing towards the room that smelled of decay and death.

He shook as he fumbled the key against the lock of the cursed room. Levi finally got it inside and turned it, kicking the door open to a horrific sight.

Eren was on the ground, shirt pulled up, as a figure was straddled on top of him. His stomach was cut open, ribs jut out, blood oozing out of his flesh like juice. Levi gawked at the figure, noticing that it was his own twelve year old self, hunched over with his arms and jaw covered in blood.

The child reflecting his features looked at him with a near primal look.

He ignored it, immediately rushing to Eren, clutching at his hand and pulling the boy close.

Looking at the boy’s wounds, he realized that young Levi was _eating him alive._

“Hey…”

Levi stared at the younger version of him, who was staring at the crime beneath him before locking eye contact. He recoiled at the feral leer.

_“Have you ever seen a pig before?”_

Levi woke with an agonized scream, shooting upright in his bed, clutching at his face and chest, horrified by the nightmare he just experienced.

Clutching at the sheets and taking in everything, he realized he was in his room. His real room. The captain realized shortly after that he was still in his uniform, though his jacket, boots, and straps were haphazardly thrown on the floor. The rest, though, were almost drenched with sweat.

Levi stumbled as he got out of his bed, heading towards his restroom and closing the door shut swiftly behind him. Using a water bucket to splash his face, he rubbed the sides of his nose with his hands, dragging them up and down his face to try to forget the memory of Eren being gored.

Squinting his eyes, he stared at the mirror, seeing it was still him. Not the primal child. It was him. There was no blood, no crazed look, no Underground remaining on him.

 _Have you ever seen a pig before?_ He recalled. What was his conscious trying to tell him?

Whatever it was… if it was trying to scare him, well, it worked.  
  


Around a week later, Levi had buried the nightmare deep within his throat, keeping it out of his head. He didn’t want to think of the horrific image. He didn’t even trust himself to be anywhere near Eren with it, as much as he wanted to see if the kid was okay. It’d been a long time since he saw the near-teenager, and they didn’t leave off on the best terms.

Levi was sitting in Erwin’s office, lax against the couch, legs crossed and staring at nothing.

“How’s the kid, Levi?”

Ah, yes, because his life revolved around this kid and nothing more, apparently. He’d much rather talk about the newspaper gossip than the kid. Anything but Eren. Levi squeezed the image of Eren’s imaginary corpse out of his head.

Levi rubbed the back of his head, scratching it lightly. “I wouldn’t know.”

Erwin turned to look at him. “Have you not checked up on him?” This is the first time they’ve ever really talked about Eren since Levi signed the citizenship papers.

“Don’t shit yourself,” Levi sighed, “He’s alive.” _I hope._ “I just haven’t seen him since we got back.”

The taller man nodded, flipping through letters.

“He bit your Survey Corps bait, by the way,” the captain uttered, “He wants to join.”

A look of mild surprise crossed the commander’s features before they settled on one of contentment. “Good. He’ll be good, I know it. I’m sure with your influence, he’d do great.”

Levi turned his head, feeling his muscles tighten with the idea of Eren joining the Survey Corps in due time. The brat would still need to train for a couple years, but after that… it was up to him. With Levi’s influence, what, did Erwin expect him to babysit the kid even in the military?

  
  


—

**Three Years Later**

  
  


“You’re going to have to learn how to do this yourself, you know.”

“I know, I know.”

Levi was found kneeling behind Eren, hands clutching onto the straps that adorned the younger’s legs, looping them together. It almost came like breathing to Levi, preparing his uniform. It was his routine in his day-to-day life.

While Eren was now in the training regime, fifteen— closer to sixteen— years of age, he still struggled to focus on the small details. Eren was more in the bigger picture; freedom and Titan slaying, because Levi told him he can’t join just to follow Levi around like a lost puppy, Eren would make up some bullshit reasons and call it there. Levi couldn’t scold him for it.

“It’s just… it’s so much, Captain Levi,” Eren admitted, and Levi watched him move his arms to his front to shift his hands together. “It’s also really hard. There’s like, five million steps.” The boy continued, “You have skinnier hands than me, I think, so… it might be easier for you.” _Don’t patronize me._

Levi hummed before frowning as Eren began to lean leg to leg. He grasped one, squeezing it. “Stop fucking moving, brat.”

“Ah, sorry…”

Levi spoke as he tucked in leather, “I can only visit you so much, Eren. You know that.” He finished up and got onto his feet with a small grunt. He was getting older. “Who’s been doing this for you?”

Eren turned red as he turned to look at Levi, shifting his eyes around. “Armin…”

The captain only heard tales about Armin. He doesn’t think he ever had a direct interaction with the blonde kid, but he saw him from afar. Armin decided to join alongside Eren when reaching for the Survey Corps, aspiring to reach the ocean and see what’s beyond the walls. It was heartwarming, and honestly, a better ideal than Eren’s.

Eren’s spoiled, Levi thought.

When Levi led the way out of the bunker, Eren joined his side. The little shit was his height, now, almost a little taller. It irked him.

“How long will you be sticking around today, Captain?”

Levi thought about it. He had a meeting tomorrow, and due to the unfortunate circumstance that the training regime was set out deep in the middle of nowhere and they had to continue along their path, the latest he could stay was mid-day. “Not long.” Eren seemed crestfallen at that fact. He witnessed the way the sea-green eyes dimmed, before he continued, “Tell me what you’ve been learning.”

The boy perked up at this. While he didn’t have the best reasons to join the regime, he definitely liked to drone on and on about tactics he was learning. Eren did just that. Levi had already known everything, a bit of exaggerated information here and there, but overall he was glad the brat wasn’t a total dumbass anymore.

They stepped outside, and Eren stopped mid-sentence before a grin split his face. “Petra!”

Levi had brought his squad along with, seeing how they were all headed in the same direction towards the meeting. It was only luck that Keith Shadis’ camp was on their way. 

The strawberry-blond girl whipped her head and gave the same expression, rushing towards Eren and crushing him in a bear hug. “Little Eren!” However, she pulled away, placing her hands on his shoulders and squinting. “...You’re not so little anymore, you’re my height— taller, even. What happened here? Captain, you let him grow so much?”

A long time ago, Levi had decided to bring Eren along to the military base. That is where Eren had met his squad, and it was safe to say they all fell in love with the cheeky boy, frequenting visits to the orphanage and asking Levi constantly if Eren could come over.

Levi only huffed at Petra’s question directed towards him. Eren seemed shy, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Puberty?”

Oulo came over, moving to wrap an arm around Eren’s shoulders and pulling him in. “Hmm, not as tall as me yet, squirt. You’ll get there, though, one day…” he started dramatically, “You’ll just have to be as good as me...”

The voices began to turn to fog to Levi. Unease settled in Levi’s gut as he found himself staring daggers at the arm around Eren. It was such an uncomfortable feeling. That hand did not belong there.

...In all honesty, Levi was not used to sharing Eren. He was not keen on the idea, either.

“Oh, Captain Levi!”

Eren’s voice snapped him out of it. “Can you help me with some gear tricks, please?”

Levi gave a long sigh. “I’m not here to be your teacher.”

The teenager kicked his boot. “I know, but… you’re really good at it. I’d like to learn, too.”

It was now mid-day, and Squad Levi was preparing to head out. His squad was interacting with the instructors and superiors around the campus, saying farewells and catching up while they could before they had to hit the road. The horses were all fed and watered, which was the reasonable purpose why they stopped by. The other purpose, Levi wouldn’t say.

When Levi was packing up and saddling his horse, he made the mistake of looking back at Eren.

Eren was interacting with his friends. He seemed to be butting heads with a particular two-tone haired man who was quite taller than him, a bob-cut raven-haired girl with an empty look in her eyes, a buzz-cut boy with large amber eyes, and a brunette girl with her hair tied up, next to Armin, his childhood friend.

Something inside of him felt lynched. It felt scary, the way he stared at Eren, watching the boy talk so heartily with others. The boy was growing up so fast, and Levi almost felt a bit wistful at the reality that he had missed several chunks of Eren’s life.

The visual of Eren turning his back on Levi, realizing how harsh and cruel Levi had been to him, giving his friends all of his affection instead of the aging captain… Levi clutched the leather strap of the saddle and forced his chin away from Eren’s direction.

His breath was short, ragged and heavy, hands clenched around what they could hold onto. How long could Levi hold onto Eren, before the boy would talk to other people, and realize that Levi was a horrible human being? Possessive, who saw too much of himself in the boy, in a way where it made him churlish. The captain who made his protégé cry over and over, just because the idea of Eren crying made him sick, and he _needed_ more of it, those pretty little eyes overflowing.

“I wonder if that’ll be his future squad.”

Fixing his position at the sudden feminine voice, he looked over to see Petra with a meditative cloud over her eyes as she stared in Eren’s direction. Levi had his head turn sharply towards Eren, and counted the amount of people surrounding him internally.

Shit. That very well _is_ a healthy amount of people for a squad. With time, they’d learn to adapt with each other, going through exercises and eventually falling into a synchronic melody with fighting. They’d climb the ranks if they survived, Eren being with them, making them his family. Eren would trust them with everything. Maybe, one day, he’d fall in love with one.

A sinister veil settled over his conscience.

“They won’t make it,” Levi mumbled.

Petra seemed surprised at his comment. She turned, eyes wide. “What makes you say that?”

Levi looked at her for a second before beginning to adjust his body so he could board his horse. “Captain… you’re not possessive of him, are you?”

He stopped, boot hooked around the saddle. Levi slowly met Petra’s gaze once more, but her expression was more concerned than nauseated.

Wanting to brush off the dark nature, and put a more logical one, he said simply, “I’ve been here a long time, Ral. I know when things don’t work.” _I know what’s best for him._

Petra was a bit reluctant to accept his answer before nodding. “I suppose so…” Levi finally settled on his horse.

“Captain Levi!”

Levi didn’t think Eren would bother. Seeing the teenager run up near the horse, he looked a bit unsettled, breathless. “I thought... you’d say bye to me...”

Raising an eyebrow, Levi drawled, “Why would I do that?” Eren looked a bit disappointed, green eyes glancing at the ground, before Levi continued, “I’ll be seeing you soon again, anyways.”

That smile. It was wide, Eren’s round cheeks squishing his eyelids upwards as the day’s sun reflected in his aquatic irises. Levi wanted to protect this expression. “Right, Captain!” Eren then promptly saluted.

“Wrong side.”

Eren jumped, looking down at himself in worry, before the captain gave a small huff of amusement. “I was just shitting with you.”

Then, the younger pouted, a face so childish and woeful, he wanted to squeeze it until his fingers were white. “So mean…”

Suddenly, Levi dropped a hand, and it flattened out on the top of Eren’s head. He felt the brown strands of hair, soft and threading near his fingers. This had been the first time Levi had ever felt the boy’s hair. It was a reassuring hold, but it was also one of selfishness, as Levi wanted to imprint himself on Eren due to everyone else’s presence on him. Eren gawked at him, and he could see the younger turn bashful.

_I’m only mean to you._

—

“Erwin.”

The meeting had been closed, and everyone had exited the conference room. Although Levi had requested Erwin stay behind as he had to discuss a few things with the commander. Arms crossed and leaning back against the wall, he watched as the man held papers within both of his hands and flattened them against the table.

“What’s this about, Levi?”

Levi blinked. “The boy.”

Erwin glanced over at him. “The Underground one?”

A little frustrated, Levi managed to speak, “He has a name.”

“Then why didn’t you say it?”

Held in a stunned silence, Levi blinked a few times before clicking his tongue, fingers clenching onto his clothing. Though, Erwin was already continuing the topic, regardless of the captain’s lead on it. “Is he doing well in his training?”

Levi wanted to say yes. He wanted to say that Eren was exceeding his expectations, in all honesty, because Erwin was right all that time ago. The boy had it in him. He was ruthless, fast, and did not hesitate. But _Levi_ hesitated.

“I think he’d be much better off if we transferred him from the 104th Training Regiment, and had him placed as my personal apprentice and potential Squad Levi member.”

Erwin stopped placing papers in respective letters and scrolls and froze. “You want him in the Special Operations squad?”

A harsh tug at his throat, Levi uttered, “It’s for his best interest.”

“Is it, Levi?” Erwin placed the papers on the table and had a more forlorn expression. “You know, at this point, I think it might be for yours.”

Levi scowled. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Erwin folded his hands together and had his strong jaw rest on the tops of his knuckles. “I’ve had reports on Eren Yeager. He is doing well, and is in the top ten so far.” A moment passed before he continued, “Although, Captain Levi keeps coming in and halting his progress. A captain, no less, that has nothing to do with training rookies, and more to do with leading the Survey Corps.”

An unstable shiver crossed his body as Erwin continued. “I think you’re trying to pull that boy away from people who want him, too.”

“That implication,” Levi muttered under his breath with a frozen stare, “is not something you want to accuse me of.”

Erwin gave a soft sigh. “Not at all, Levi. Though, for years, you complained about having Yeager in your possession. Now, you want him to _stay_ as your possession, putting him in the Special Operations squad when you’re all doing fine as is— when _he’s_ doing fine.” The man let his hands rest on the table, peering at Levi. “You’re putting him on the direct front line of the Survey Corps, the thing you didn’t want before.”

He got off the wall. “The brat won’t take any other path. He’s safer with me and not with bumbling children. Put him with me. I will train him myself.”

“We need your attention on other, more important things.”

Levi trudged forward, slamming his palms on the table. “This is important, and _imperative_ that you do this.”

When Erwin seemed to not budge, Levi continued, “How many times have I pulled strings for you? Done things for you without question?” He grit his teeth, “My _friends_ died for your sake, for your lies. If you can’t put a sniveling, helpless boy in my fucking care after you _already_ did without my prior knowledge, then you have no idea what it means to be generous.”

Silence filled the room.

“Do you understand, Commander?” Levi said, feeling his voice turn cold, vile in each syllable as he straightened his back to stare down at the man, “If I don’t get him, I will _steal_ him from that training regime, making you lose Humanity’s Strongest.”

He couldn’t stop the unkind growl releasing from his lips, “Eren Yeager is still mine.”

—

“I didn’t really think you’d let me train with you.”

The entire Levi Squad were boarded on horses, heading towards the Survey Corps fort, hearing the soft clops of hooves hit the gravel and padded dirt beneath them. Trees pulled past, and Eren would look at them curiously before murmuring to Levi, as they were both behind the rest.

Levi peered at Eren from the corner of his eye before glancing ahead. “You were doing well. I see potential in you.”

Eren gleamed. “Really? So… are you saying you were testing me?”

 _No… more like Petra made a good point._ “Yes.”

“Well…” Eren started, “I’m glad I could live up to one of your expectations.”

One of them? Levi glanced at Eren from the side before returning his gaze forwards. He could never figure this boy out; what made him think Levi had any expectations? Especially regarding Eren? Levi disliked the child growing up, of course, but he never _expected_ anything. Maybe Eren just had some weird insecure complex regarding his worth when it came to Levi.

It’s not like Levi could blame him. He gave the teenager plenty of reasons to be full of doubt.

That night, when he had demanded Erwin hand over Eren’s military rights to him, Erwin caved in. Erwin commented on how Levi was supposed to have this obsessive behavior elsewhere, but Levi disregarded it.

The commander eventually turned over the transfer papers to Keith Shadis, who gave Eren back to Levi a handful of months afterwards when all the filing was done. Levi wished he could’ve gotten Eren faster, but times were busy.

Eren was surprised, a little solemn as he had to say goodbye to his friends, promising them he’d see them soon.

Of course, Levi wasn’t a monster. He’d let Eren see his friends. He would let Eren traverse the world if he wanted to.

Just, not without him.

That is the last thing Levi would want would be for this Underground spawn to be out of his sight.

They arrived at the rather abandoned quarters, and Levi winced at the cleanliness. It’d been a while since they had last stayed here. They would need to train Eren, so the more isolated the better, however age has definitely taken its toll on the safehold.

Oulo sighed. “Well, looks like we’re back to work, then, huh?”

Levi blinked slowly. “Of course.”

That they did. Levi had assigned each person their designated room and roles. Eren was confused, so Levi decided the boy would come along with him. While he usually wouldn’t handhold a person on how to clean properly, as that is pathetic, he knew Eren was a little _too_ pathetic. Levi would guide him. Fix him.

Levi led him towards an empty room with a closed window, shelves dusty and bent. Blinking, he swiftly moved forward, pinning the shutters to the window open, the sunshine scathing down into the room.

“Y’know… it was my birthday a few months ago.”

Levi’s eyebrow twitched. “Why is this relevant?” He turned to glower at Eren.

Eren shrugged. “Just thought I wouldn’t live to get this old. I’m sad you missed it. I thought you’d visit.”

“You’re sixteen. Why would I celebrate something like that with you? You’ll just have it again next year.”

“I guess…” the boy mumbled, “But… sixteen? That’s old to me!” Eren sighed before fumbling with his rag, “Maybe not as old as you, though…”

He couldn’t believe he had been stuck with this brat for five years. Grabbing the rag from Eren’s hands, he whipped the boy in the back of the head with it, causing him to hiss. “You still have that damn attitude with me.”

Eren only grinned at him. “I think it’s kinda funny when you get mad.”

Funny?

Levi stared at him. The boy surely took amusement with this idea. As much as he wanted to wipe that grin off Eren’s face, he decided to simply sigh. Grabbing Eren’s wrist and holding his palm out, he placed the rag back on. “Because of that, I’m going to make you clean everything twice over.”

Eren groaned.

He watched as the boy got to work. Levi would sit in a chair, watching Eren be on his knees, scrubbing against the floorboards. Focusing on his movements, the raven-haired found his eyes traversing Eren’s body. He had grown, taller was inevitable, and his muscles slightly more refined. Though, he was still a bit skinny in the waist and arms. He wondered if this was still due to the Underground’s lasting effects.

Levi couldn’t help but to land his gaze on a more perverse part of Eren’s body.

He quickly looked away, staring out the window blankly, a grim feeling overtaking him. There was no reason to look there, he convinced himself.

Eren was only sixteen. Levi was in his late twenties. Eren most likely saw Levi as a… as much as he’d hate to admit it, _father_ figure.

Though, a haunting, disgusting thought kept crossing his mind.

Eren’s ass looked good in those white pants.  
  
  


He didn’t mind it, Levi learned.

Levi would train Eren on gear and spin tactics. Though, since Eren was taller, and has not been in the game as long as Levi, he was a lot slower. Eren was trying, and that is what mattered, according to everyone else. Eren was taking his gear off when the revelation hit; he enjoyed watching Eren grow, as he didn’t mind having Eren around.

“Phew, today was extra hard…” Eren mumbled, wiping at the underside of his eye.

Levi nodded, letting Eren follow him inside. “Which means tomorrow you will work even harder.”

Leading Eren to his room, he was sure to inform the boy about when Eren would be up tomorrow, and what exact courses they were doing. Eren had stood in the center of his room and fumbled with his straps as Levi spoke.

“Uh, Captain,” he interrupted.

Agitated, Levi wondered, “What?”

Eren seemed a little shy. “...I can’t get these off.”

The leg straps. For some reason, Eren always struggled with those. Levi sighed, approaching the younger and kneeling down behind him. He already knew Eren didn’t need to ask.

As he moved a careful hand to grasp onto a leg strap, his eyes froze on a particular spot.

A week ago, he had shamed himself for looking there. Levi had wanted to feel nauseous being this close to Eren’s ass, but inevitably, he was here, and he didn’t feel bad about it in the slightest. Levi didn’t know whether to rip those straps off of Eren and abruptly leave due to his sick thoughts, or to take his time, slow and steady, ease Eren into his movements.

Levi slid his fingers beneath the straps, undoing them slowly, having his thumbs press into Eren’s thighs when he could. Feeling his tips slide against the edges of the leather before ghosting along the sides of legs, he felt his chest tremble.

When he finally undid the other one, his hand remained firm on Eren’s thigh, cupping it, watching as the straps dragged down the legs and hung around the boots, awaiting for the rest to be slipped off from the inside.

The older felt the leg tremble beneath his touch.

“Captain Levi…?”

Hearing that voice, he blinked out of his odd desirous trance and removed his touch from Eren like a hot stove. “You need to stop being a lazy ass and do those yourself,” Levi almost scolded as he stood up.

Eren made hesitant eye contact with him, scratching at his cheek with a finger, before mumbling, “It’s nice when you do it, though.”

Levi didn’t know how to take that in. “Are you being ignorant just so I touch you?” He was blunt and honest with it.

The younger’s face turned into the darkest shade of red, waving his hands around. “No! No, nothing like that, Captain Levi!”

It _was_ like that, though.

“Y-you just always do it so nicely, that’s all! And I always mess up, I don’t wanna ruin the straps, okay?!”

The way Eren turned to suddenly start yanking his boots off hurriedly, Levi’s eyes lingering on him for a moment longer before moving to exit the room and closing the door, it got Levi thinking.

Was Eren infatuated with him?

_“How long will you be sticking around today, Captain?”_

_“Can you help me with some gear tricks, please?”_

_“I know, but… you’re really good at it. I’d like to learn, too.”_

_“I thought... you’d say bye to me...”_

_“I’m glad I could live up to one of your expectations.”_

_“I’m sad you missed it. I thought you’d visit.”_

_“It’s nice when you do it, though.”_

Levi was now standing in his room. Previous quotes of Eren’s were replaying in his head almost like a melody. Staring blankly at the wall, he realized how each word was _yearning_ for Levi’s attention. Eren was basically begging at this point, on his knees, pleading for his captain to give him a sliver of thought.

Placing a hand firmly on the wall beside him and putting all his weight against it, he felt a cold sweat creep over his body.

The way Eren’s innocuous eyes would follow him curiously, when he’d be unable to make eye contact with Levi, how he’d constantly ‘mess things up’ just so Levi would give him a more hands-on approach, cheeks turning red when praised or addressed.

Now, Levi shouldn’t get ahead of himself. This is completely normal. Just as long as Levi did not do anything to spur it on. An innocent crush on a higher-up is normal. It is.

Why did he feel his body turn warm?

—

**Two Months Later**

Erwin’s old office was dusty, neat, but showed obvious signs of a lack of living. Erwin had not been in this office for a long, long time. While the Special Operations squad held position in the stronghold, giving their attention to the project of training Eren Yeager, Levi still found himself coming in here frequently.

As much as he wanted to clean it, he let it sit for a while. Until now.

“Captain Levi, you wanted me here?”

Levi turned to see a disheveled Eren at the front, hands crossed behind his back, giving his focus towards the older. He hummed, walking over towards the wooden desk and letting a finger slide across it. A layer of dust was revealed on his skin. He showed it to Eren, raising his eyebrows, “It’s dirty.”

Eren bristled. “Huh? But I thought we finished cleaning a while ago…”

“I kept this room off limits,” Levi admitted as he rotated around the desk to approach Erwin’s old chair. Blinking down at it, he turned on his heel in front of the furniture and sat down in it, letting an ankle rest on his knee, hands clutching at the arms.

The younger looked around, peering at the shelves and sofa. “Is this an office?”

“Erwin Smith’s, yes.”

Eren’s face turned pale, eyes small. “What—”

“He’s never here anymore, it’s been long abandoned since he became Commander,” Levi admitted to Eren. The boy seemed to settle down some. “The look on your face…” Levi murmured, recalling the distress, “...no need to piss yourself. I’m here.”

However, the cadet only seemed confused. “What does that mean?”

Levi let his eyes survey the room. “It means I wouldn’t let anyone touch you.”

“...I appreciate that, Captain.”

Levi only hummed. “Get to cleaning then, Eren. The supplies are by the door.”

So, like the good boy he is, Eren would listen and clean.

Watching him with careful eyes, Eren would look back at times, a nervous glint in his eyes at the way Levi would stare at him like a hawk. He just felt entertained, that’s all. Watching people fret as they clean to live up to his standards was a little amusing to the captain.

Eventually, Eren approached the shelves behind Levi, wincing at the fact that he would be unable to reach them unless Levi moved. Though, he knew the boy was aware that he had to clean every surface in this office. Which he did, except for the very thing that loomed over them both. They both knew this moment was coming.

“Um… Captain…” the boy stated awkwardly, standing in front of Levi like he was about to ask where babies came from.

Levi pretended to be ignorant, like Eren. “What?” His head was resting on his closed fist, elbow using the arm rest as a foundation.

“I need to move this,” Eren pointed at the chair, “...so I can get to the shelf behind you.”

Shuffling in his seat, Levi voiced disinterest, “That’s a shame. Guess you’ll need to use your imagination, kid.”

A tense, thick silence droned between them, neither of them able to look at each other.

“Forgive me.”

Eren, shortly after speaking, moved forward and dragged one knee up the chair, right beside Levi’s leg. The next would parallel on the opposite side, limbs squeezing against each other as they both attempt to fit on the chair. It was a taller chair, made to fit the unit that was Erwin, well padded and stabilized. Eren was unable to look at the captain, a huge dark blush dusting his cheeks and ears.

Licking his teeth, Levi didn’t exactly prepare for this part.

The reasonable side of him wanted to tell Eren to just reach over from the sides of the chair, instead of kneeling on it. However, the covetous side was satisfied with this result. Right in front of him was Eren, the younger’s abdomen almost meeting with Levi’s face, thighs near his hands. If Levi moved, he would only rub against Eren, so the captain stayed deathly still and quiet. Levi’s gaze peered up to see Eren have a focused look on the shelves, wiping them down.

...While the boy was distracted, Levi could think.

Levi returned his focus back towards the peculiar _thing_ staring at him in his face. Eren’s waist was still slim, shirt neatly tucked into his pants. He had his gear straps on from the practice earlier that day.

The straps were secure on his legs, he noticed. Eren had stopped asking Levi to help him after he got called out.

He felt his throat constrict at the idea of touching Eren’s legs like he did that day. Levi felt his palms twitch as they grew hot and sweaty against the arms of the chair. Like the dirty old man he was, he wanted to touch Eren. He wanted to feel those warm thighs against his hands again, squeeze them until they bruised, until Eren cried.

_I…_

Levi gave a heavy breath as he felt his groin pool with heat when Eren shuffled against him.

_I want to touch you._

He wanted to have his hands move up from Eren’s thighs to his waist, planting themselves there before he’d force Eren down on his lap. Levi wouldn’t care at the look of surprise, he would pull Eren close against his chest, sinking into everything that breathed Eren.

_I want to…_

Levi wanted to bury his fingers deep inside of Eren’s mouth, feeling all of the drool, the warmth that came from that sobbing, whimpering, crying mouth. He wanted to put them inside of Eren, feeling the heat, the tightness that the boy would provide for his captain. He knew he could get away with it, the way Eren acted like a shy damsel from romance fiction. Levi wanted to make Eren cry of pleasure and pain.

Taking everything that was Eren’s, and making it Levi’s. Giving Eren everything, for the expense that Eren would devote his entire being to Levi. _You are mine,_ Levi would praise in his head, _you are everything._

_I want to…_

_...devour you._

Then, an image of that nightmare from all those years ago appeared in his head.

_“Have you ever seen a pig before?”_

Levi was speechless, staring ahead blankly at the thought that was once long abandoned. He knew he had to protect Eren since then, becoming attached to the boy and wanting to make sure no harm like that would come.

He was poisoned with fear of harming Eren. Levi felt disgusted at his defiled, amorous thoughts. He wanted to bury himself in needles.

“Got it, Captain.” Eren pulled away from his lap and avoided his stare timidly. “That was the only way I could get to the shelf behind you… I’m sorry if I invaded anything.”

“Eren.”

The younger perked up, eyes round with regard as folded the rag. “Yes?”

He had to know. “Do you hate me?”

Eren looked unsettled, almost disturbed at the question. “No, Captain. Why would you ask that?”

Levi grit his teeth. “Because I treat you like absolute garbage.”

“I know you don’t mean to…” his voice was quiet, so soft and tender, and Levi felt his ribs ache.

“What makes you say that?”

Eren only smiled, his eyes searching his head before he sighed, “...You always came back, and even if I am upset… you always make it up to me.”

He tried to not let those words get to them. They were so sincere, so childishly innocent and pure, that it made Levi feel sick. “Eren…” Levi drawled, “You can’t…” he started, pausing to take a deep breath, “you _can’t_ feel this way.”

The teenager only looked confused. “What way?”

“I can’t be your everything. You can’t devote yourself to me.” _As you are my everything._

Eren then had an expression of pure offense, something so pained and faraway, he began to argue, “Why? All of my life, I’ve known you. You’ve been with me. You were always there. You took care of me—”

“That’s the problem, Eren,” Levi sneered, “It’s just… filthy.”

However, instead of breaking down and being a crybaby like he used to be, Eren clenched his fists, “So what if I’m disgusting? So what if I disgust you?” Full of naive rage, he continued, “That doesn’t change the fact that I would follow you into Hell if you asked!”

Levi precipitously stood from his chair, moving to directly stand in front of Eren, glowering up at him. “What if what I ask,” he uttered, “was something so immoral, so dangerously vile, it would break you?” He grabbed Eren’s shirt, yanking him forward and making eye contact with him. “What then would you do? Would you still sanctify your whole body and soul for me if I asked, boy?”

He then pulled Eren lower to stare directly into his eyes, his own quivering and oozing with sin, “What if I asked to devour you whole?”

Eren’s irises were small with awe, before he gave a self-assured bat of his eyelids and whispered, “Then… I hope you savor every bite.”

An image of Eren’s body laid out on the ground, bleeding out for everyone to see, it made him recoil. Levi clicked his tongue and released the other. Eren stumbled a bit before regaining his footing. Levi made way around the desk.

“Captain Levi, why?”

Levi paused as he was now in the middle of Erwin’s long abandoned office. He did not turn back to look at Eren.

“If I disgust you so much, why do you keep me close?”

 _No, you’re not supposed to know,_ Levi wanted to say. He wanted to say that Eren was supposed to remain naive. But, as the boy grew older, he was becoming acutely aware of _Levi Ackerman_ as a whole and not just _Captain Levi._ It was making him feel queasy.

He turned on his heel so he could look at Eren from the side properly. Eren seemed surprised that Levi was responding to him. “Because you are mine, and you will remain mine, Eren Yeager.”

Levi placed a firm hand on his chest with fingers splayed out, staring into Eren’s shaking sea-green eyes. “And I love the way you cry and beg for my attention.” He moved to rub his hand down his jaw, feeling his face turn warm as he continued, “You are just adorable. Terribly, cruelly adorable, it makes me want to stomp your adorable face in,” he continued out loud. “Not a day goes by where I don’t want to eat you up, having you devote your entire being to me.”

He looked back to Eren, seeing the boy absolutely bewildered and stumped at Levi’s words.

An entertained scoff released from him. “Ah… look at that. You look like you pissed yourself again,” he said as he smirked, “I was just shitting around with you, brat. I keep you close because I care.”

_I wasn’t kidding._

_I just wanted to see your reaction to how disturbing my thoughts are._ Eren gave a weak laugh, though Levi watched his cheeks turn dark. _I care, sure, that can be true. Though, I still want to do all of the former._

“You’re a wicked man, Captain…”

Levi huffed at Eren before exiting, leaving the younger puzzled and distressed.

When Levi entered his room, he did not expect himself to have the raging hard-on he had. He did not see himself tumbling over to a chair after locking his door shut, plopping down, unbuttoning his white pants and peeling his erection out.

It was leaking, burning, begging for warmth. Levi fisted it, pumping it vigorously, leaning his head back against the chair and giving hot breaths into the cool, dark room, only lit up by the moon’s spotlight. Levi used his other hand to card through his black hair.

There wasn’t a time Levi recalled recently where he jerked off. It’d been a while. Usually he’d do it to alleviate physical stress, but this time, the image of Eren’s thighs was burned in the back of his head. The way he had pulled Eren closer, staring into those eyes.

Once young, burning with loathing towards Levi, were now covered in a rose-tinted veil of pure adulation. Levi loved the way Eren looked at him.

_“Then… I hope you savor every bite.”_

_You want it so bad, don’t you, Eren?_

_I wonder if you’re doing this, too. Fingering yourself for me,_ he continued, _spreading your legs open and remembering the way your old man grabbed you so viciously. The way you tease me,_ _Eren,_ he thumbed the head of his cock, beads of cum pooling, preparing for release.

Levi imagined him grabbing Eren at that moment when he sat on his lap, pushing him onto Erwin’s stupid fucking desk and stuffing him full of his cock and cum, claiming what has been his in documents and emotions. Levi wanted to have all of him.

“Eren…” he grit out through clenched teeth as he came into his hand, hips trembling. His chest heaved with each breath, and he wiped his hand and his discarded cravat and lounged in the chair with his flaccid dick out.

For a moment, he envisioned Eren kneeling in front of him, his lips gaping slightly and his seed leaking out from those plump, pink lips.

Levi could not get hard again. It was embarrassing enough.

—

Receiving a letter from the commander, they were set on another expedition outside of the walls. It was to exterminate any titans heading their way, recording a horde of them approaching Wall Rose. Levi had lazily read over the letter before preparing his team to head towards the closest barracks for the Survey Corps meetup.

There was a tension between Eren and Levi. While they could still speak with each other, it wasn’t ever personal. It was distanced, detached, and Levi didn’t know whether this was a good or bad thing, recalling the way he beat off and pictured Eren’s body as he did so.

Grouped and preparing equipment days later, Levi was sitting on some steps, wiping at his blade to keep it clean from dirt and dust.

His ears picked up Erwin’s voice. Levi looked to the side to witness Erwin speaking with Eren, surprisingly. Had they ever interacted before?

Prying, he focused on their voices.

“...I hope the Special Operations squad has been treating you well, Yeager.” Erwin was scratching a quill against a paper on a table, Eren beside him, a horse trailing behind and holding its lead.

Eren gave an exasperated reply, “Yeah, of course! Training is hard, but I think they just want me to be the very best I can be…”

Erwin hummed. “The Captain, does he go easy on you?”

The Underground boy was quiet. “No.”

However, his old time friend only gave a laugh, dragging out the last breath as he said, “He’s never easy on anyone. Feel lucky, Yeager,” he heard papers rolling together, “Humanity’s Strongest fights especially hard for you.”

“What does that mean, Commander?”

Though, he supposed Erwin only gave Eren an expression and nothing more.

“Le-vi!”

Turning his head at the sudden interruption, Hange came running over, grinning. “Oh, Levi, it’s been so long. Why don’t you ever write back?”

Levi clicked his tongue. “What the hell am I supposed to reply with? All you send me are scribbles of Titans.”

Hange placed their hands on their hips. “Yeah, I want your input on them!”

Ignoring the brunette, Levi’s eyes flickered upwards as he watched Eren approach, lacking the equine from before. “Captain Levi, your horse is all set to go.”

Staring into the sea-green eyes that seemed troubled, Levi let himself take in Eren’s uniformed body for a second before looking back at his blade. “Yes. Thank you, Eren.”

As Eren shifted his body to leave, Hange stopped him. “Oh, hold on, hold on. Eren? Eren Yeager?” Eren batted his eyelids at Hange a few times before giving a confirming nod. “Geez! Levi never introduces me to anyone!” Upset, they shook their head before taking Eren’s hand abruptly and shaking it vigorously. “Hello, hello, Eren. I am Hange Zoe!”

“Hange… Doctor Zoe?” The cadet said sheepishly.

Hange glew. “Yes! Heard of me?”

Eren gave a shy nod, finally being released from Hange's death hold on his hands and using one to scratch at his cheek. “Yeah… I used to read your research a lot as a kid.”

This made the doctor very happy. “Oh, I’m so happy to have inspired an entire generation to come join our expeditions. Titans are so interesting, are they not? What’s your favorite theory? Mine has to be that each Titan has a very distinct personality—”

“Please, Hange. Do not terrorize my apprentice,” Levi finally managed out with a sigh, standing up from his seat on the stairs and sheathing his weapon. “You can’t be putting nonsense in his head before his first expedition.”

“Apprentice, huh?” Hange exhaled before perking up. “Wait… that’s why I recognized your name! You’re the Underground kid that Levi took in, huh?”

Eren’s face turned red, before turning his chin away. “Yeah…”

Then, the commander’s voice sounded, demanding everyone to board their horse. With this, Hange grabbed Eren’s hand with both, cradling it gently. “Well, Eren. I hope you live. I’d love to have more conversations with you.” Eren was starstruck before the doctor headed off towards their respective group.

The captain watched for a moment before looking to Eren. Eren’s eyebrows curled together before he met Levi’s gaze hesitantly, turning away with a darker tone on his cheeks.

When Levi boarded his horse, he turned to Eren, who was behind him. Their formation was closely knit, but Levi wanted to make instructions clear. “Eren, do not fall two horse-lengths behind me,” he was careful to say.

Eren blinked at him before giving a confident nod.

When the gates opened, and the horses poured out like water, Levi’s grip on the reign was tight.

 _Please,_ Levi started to beg to a god he didn’t believe in, _please let him be the one that lives._

Overall, the Levi Squad’s location was not riddled with Titans, surprisingly. He could feel the apprehension from all of the parties. While they’d done this for a while, and Eren was more than equipped to handle it, Levi was also anxious for once.

Flashbacks of Furlan and Isabel corrupted his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, begging for his head to be silent, to be still, as he wanted to prevent the sequel to that tragedy.

A Titan was spotted up ahead, and Levi gave orders to Gunther and Petra to handle it.

As Gunther and Petra slid among the Titan’s skin, they jittered in the air.

Why did they hesitate?

Through the mindless Titan, a sudden, abrupt Aberrant Titan tore through the other one, limbs flying amongst the field and blood splattering like rain. Levi cursed under his breath, Eld commanding everyone to shift to the right. The horses began to whinny as they knocked into each other, maintaining balance but still on edge as the Aberrant rolled through the grass.

It was a disgusting creature. Long, smiling teeth, it ran on its fours, an almost non-existent waist but heavy legs and sturdy arms to make up for it. Its hair was long and chestnut-colored, and Levi didn’t want to compare it to the one that killed his Underground family.

“Captain!” Eld called out, “What do we do?!”

Gunther and Petra seemed to be out of commission as they were nowhere in sight. Steam was heavy in the air, creating a fog as the former Titan’s body was splayed out.

“Keep running.”

The Aberrant chased them, jaw open and dog-like tongue lolling out of its filthy mouth. Its eyes seemed to glow in the steam, eerie and foreboding.

“Eld, Oulo,” Levi instructed, “take the right and take care of the Titans coming that way. Eren and I will go left to finish off this Aberrant.” _You two will be safe, and I can protect Eren properly._

The two gave determined acknowledgements before peeling their horses away from the last two. While it seemed inconvenient to split up, large groups of people with hordes of Titans always proved to be claustrophobic and bad news. It was best to have only one or two with you in cases like this, Levi believed.

Another Titan was in the distance. The Aberrant was hot on Eren and Levi’s tails.

They were going to be trapped. However, Eren’s horse pulled up to Levi’s, and Levi was forced to look and see Eren’s austere stare. 

“Captain.”

Levi held his breath.

“I’m not afraid.”

Those three words. Levi felt his jaw constrict against his skull, eyes wide at the teenager with a somber gaze.

 _“I’m not afraid!”_

_Pouty lips, a swollen face, huge, watery eyes that spoke thousands of tragic words._

_“Of course you aren’t, kid.”_

Levi looked forward, watching as Eren knelt on his horse, clutching his blades and ropes of steel jutting from his gear.

_“You haven’t seen a Titan.”_

“Eren—”

Though, the boy’s body already jutted forward with a hiss of oxygen. The Aberrant gave a groan behind him, and Levi cursed, having to steer his horse away to avoid Eren tussling with two Titans. Levi looked to his side, seeing Eren circle around and spinning, his blades slicing through the Titan’s nape. As Eren got his first kill, a Titan escaped the steam cloud that they had abandoned, jogging its way towards Eren.

 _No,_ Levi thought, watching as the Aberrant lost attention with the captain and looked to witness the fall of the other Titan instead.

Levi decided to leave his horse, focusing on the Aberrant, his hooks clinging onto it. He pulled himself closer to its burning flesh, planting his feet as he just about surfed it.

Eren, however, as much as he sliced at the opposing Titan’s eyes, was not prepared for the sudden hand that bested him.

The hand grasped him, palm and fingers squeezing against him, his swords dropping to the ground as he squirmed. He was held like a utensil, legs free and wriggling as he tried to escape it. However, Eren looked pained, aching.

He saw red. The Aberrant was rushing, but abruptly tripped and rolled, Levi falling against it. He was using it for speed towards the opposing force. Levi’s breath escaped him as he landed on the grass, watching the Aberrant coo as it got back up on its fours.

 _God damn you,_ Levi thought as he slowly stood up again, ignoring the aching. The Aberrant was dangerous, seemingly drawn to noise, but Eren was about to become dinner.

Another choice...

Of course, he had already chosen a long time ago.

That smile.

_“...You always came back, and even if I am upset… you always make it up to me.”_

Levi growled like a predator against his teeth as he found his gear sinking into the Aberrant’s side. Levi ran up against it, hearing the Aberrant abruptly pull against the grass at the heavy pants Levi was releasing.

That little boy on the steps of the orphanage, plucked out from the Underground and placed in Wall Sina’s care, holding a warm sweet bread roll between his little fingers. His eyes watering, so unbelievably appreciative of the food, looking up at Levi with such a soft, childish understanding.

_“It’s still warm.”_

Eren still needed to have his next birthday. Levi still needed to arrive for his next birthday. He wanted to watch Eren make bread, talk about bread, talk about his key, why he had the key, mention Levi’s age once more, _he needed Eren alive._

Slicing deep into the Aberrant’s neck and feeling the heated blood splatter his face, he ran across the field, watching as Eren attempted to pull out of the Titan’s grasp, completely helpless.

A face, a childish face, with red hair and green eyes. Another face, more mature, round and committed, a dark blonde with blue eyes. They looked at him, the skies reflected in their eyes, giving smiles of assurance, such certainty in the captain. His throat tightened.

Run faster.

Faster, Levi.

_“But you’re Humanity’s Strongest. Why should your height matter?”_

_“It doesn’t, kid. It doesn’t matter at all. It makes me faster, anyways.”_

Levi felt his body ache with the roll he took on the ground previously. As he was close enough for his gear to latch onto the Titan— curse these fields for being plain, for nothing in sight to properly hold— he prepared the triggers on his blades.

Though, his world slowed down.

Two familiar bodies came tearing through the Titan.

A strawberry-blond girl sliced the fingers and retrieved Eren as a dark-haired man ripped open its nape.

Levi was in absolute awe for a moment before finding himself scowling and rushing towards the woman who landed on the ground with a wince. She laid Eren on the ground, and Levi was immediately by his side, shuffling around his clothing to check for damage.

His breath was ragged, anxious, before he placed his head against Eren’s chest to listen for a familiar heartbeat.

_Thump._

“Captain,” Petra spoke. Gunther landed beside them, glancing around to keep watch.

Levi growled as he started to adjust Eren and prepare the boy to be lifted.

“Captain, stop. The Survey Corps need you on the field.”

“Does it look like I give a damn about that right now, Petra?” Levi snapped.

Petra blinked before scowling. “You should!”

Levi ignored her as he started to pull Eren from the ground in a bridal-like carry. “You’re going to get yourselves both killed! Let me take him back!” Petra rushed forward, clutching onto Levi’s bicep, who only tore away from her grasp.

“You can’t touch him,” Levi said with a dark tone, boring into Petra’s trembling eyes. “You can’t.”

Petra winced. “Captain, please.” Eren had strained breathing. “Please. Let him board my horse. I will take him back. You need to be on the field.”

She clenched her fists before saying with more confidence, “We all need you out here! Eren needs you out here! So, please, trust me with him to get him medical assistance! Eren would want that!”

 _What would you know,_ was what Levi wanted to say immediately. Though, giving it more thought, he imagined the stupid kid shoving him away and telling him to focus on the mission, that Levi didn’t train him to quit.

He recalled the various lessons he gave Eren, the highlighted one being to focus on the mission. It was of the utmost importance. Levi couldn’t be a hypocrite, he had to be a good role model for the younger.

That little, tiny voice… in front of the orphanage, with a red scarf… _“You’re Humanity’s Strongest, right? So… if the strongest soldier came from the Underground… that’d mean we can still be good people, and do good things for everyone._

_“I think… it would make me feel powerful, too.”_

Levi gave a heavy breath before nodding, falling to his knees with Eren still in his arms. “Get your horse.”

While Petra whistled, Levi took a moment to gaze at Eren.

He had grown so much. Eren was such a beautiful boy. No words could amount to the way he made Levi feel. He gave Levi purpose, worth, motivation. Despite all the times Levi hurt him, Levi tried to push him away, Eren remained. He was a rock.

He will live, Levi promised.

To Isabel, to Furlan, to himself, to Eren.

He will live.

The horse arrived, and Petra swung her legs over the horse. Levi helped Eren in front of Petra. Though, before tearing apart, Levi clung onto Eren’s hand.

He pressed the boy’s knuckles against his lips before nodding at Petra, slowly releasing Eren and feeling the soft fingers become ghost-like sensations on his own. Levi watched Petra and Eren leave, and he knew his heart was being taken with.

“Captain, where are Eld and Oulo?”

Levi turned, nodding at Gunther. “To our right. We’ll find them.”

—

Exhausted, the expedition had succeeded.

The Titans surrounding Wall Rose, while it took until nightfall, were wiped out promptly, and there was no immediate threat for now.

Levi was leaning against a wall after getting off his horse, placing it in its respective stable, feeling the adrenaline remain in his body for some time. Clutching onto his hair, he gave a drawn sigh, wiping at his sweaty forehead.

It’d been hours since he last saw Eren. A bad feeling was in his gut. He knew that Eren wasn’t outwardly bleeding, but the last time he saw the kid, there was definitely inner damage, which was arguably worse in some cases.

Levi approached one of the immediate medicalists that exited out of the emergency care tent.

“Oh, Captain Levi,” the woman said, blonde hair tied up.

“Eren,” he said, a bit breathless.

“Yeager was moved to the medical barracks in Wall Sina.”

Levi paled. “What?”

“Petra instructed it.”

What was Petra doing instructing Eren further away from him?

Levi nearly snarled as he whipped away from the nurse who was trying to retain his attention once more. He grabbed his horse from the stable, hearing the keepers ask what he was doing, and hopped on the equine. With that, he gave a harsh starting kick, and the horse ran further into Wall Rose.

The captain didn’t know how long he’d been riding. No longer was it midnight, as the moon turned in the sky, horse hooves grating against the gravel and cobble.

He hated this part about horse-riding, about the quiet. He was left to himself, he was left to his thoughts, his aggravating, pestering thoughts.

 _“Captain,”_ Eren had said, _“I’m not afraid.”_

_Though… that look in your eyes…_

As the morning sun beat down on them, Levi could recall it clearly. Brown hair flickering across tanned cheeks, round eyes shaking, pupils dilated with adrenaline, waterlines wet with fear. Eren was afraid.

 _“I’m… not afraid…”_ young Eren cried, _“I’m not afraid!”_ Yet whining and whimpering like a cold, lost puppy, without a mother, when tied by older men in an interrogation room…

 _Why do you lie to me?_ Levi held the horse lead tight within his fingers. _I already know you’re afraid. You don’t need to lie to me._

Young Eren’s voice echoed in his head. _“Aren’t you afraid?”_

At the time, Levi had nothing to be afraid of. He didn’t fear death. He had no squad, no allies aside from Erwin, Levi was completely isolated at that time. Seeing Eren as a child, seeing how pitiful he was, it was only a painful reminder of how awful Levi was as a child.

Eren, though, he was beautiful. Even when he cried, his eyes would shine, and it was gorgeous. When Eren would get emotional, expressing what Levi couldn’t, the older man wanted to sink into that velvety wrap of sentiment. Levi wanted to feel what he couldn’t through Eren, and it made him feel sick, using the child as a vessel.

Levi had nothing to be afraid of then.

Now, he feared everything.

He feared each passing minute when he wasn’t by Eren’s side. Levi was scared of the future, not knowing how long he had Eren, if those last moments— kissing Eren’s delicate knuckles— would be the only time he could show Eren how much he adored him.

The captain scolded the cadet for looking at him like that, like Levi was his everything, for devoting himself. Levi had been devoted to Eren for nearly six years. He didn’t want Eren to fall into a trap of being forced to be with Levi, forced to give everything to Levi if he didn’t want it.

Levi, all this time, was devouring Eren.

He was eating Eren alive, each emotion, each want and desire, he was greedy and hungry for more. Each tear, each cry, each smile, each laugh, each breath, Levi was covetous.

Levi wanted to ask Eren over and over if the boy hated him.

However, that familiar smile crossed his mind, with the red cheeks and white teeth.

_No, Captain._

The sky was turning into a lavender, and Levi arrived at Wall Sina’s gates. He was given permission to enter, and his horse began to trot through the streets fast.

Before, in the past, Levi would focus on their gazes. He would focus on their expressions, and he would pretend not to feel ashamed. However, he only cared about one face, one person, one mind. People scooted out of the way of his horse, the equine and human both being exhausted. A little further, a little further and Levi could rest his mind. Levi could take back his heart that he had given away.

He finally arrived uphill towards the medical housing. Levi hopped off his horse and quickly shoved the reign into some Military Policeman’s hands and moved through the door.

Approaching the clerk, he gripped the counter, catching the youthful black-haired man by surprise.

“Yeager. Eren Yeager. Survey Corps.”

The clerk was gawking at the captain before nodding. “The— the young man dragged in yesterday by that lady, right...” he said as he looked through a document. “Eren should be in the third hall, in the sixth room…”

Levi was already pulling himself around the counter and heading towards the third hall from the lounge. His body was tired, so tired, but his mind was wide awake with anxiety. 

The captain stopped when he saw Petra sitting in the hall on a bench. She looked over at Levi.

“Why’d you take him so far from me?” That’s what Levi mustered out.

Petra stood up, arms crossed when apologetic, “I’m sorry, Captain. The tent was full at the time, and since it seemed like Eren wasn’t in grave medical condition, they couldn’t take him… and knowing you would like your privacy with him anyway, I brought him up here.”

Levi tensed. “This was so far— he could’ve died in that time. Next time, you tell them it’s the _Captain’s_ orders to tend to Eren _immediately.”_

The woman stared at the ground.

Why was he even arguing with her? Eren was right in that room. He pinched his nose and sighed. However, Petra paused his consideration for moving. “If you want to know, he’s fine and alive. Just some bruising and sore ribs, but he’s okay. He lived.”

Levi stared at Petra in disbelief.

“You love him, don’t you, Captain?”

Petra had a knowing, amiable simper.

Love?

However, giving Levi no time to ponder, the woman fixed up her Survey Corps-designed jacket. “I’m off to go back to Wall Rose. Do you want me to say anything?”

Levi was at a loss for words when regarding what Petra said previously. He cleared his throat, looking at Eren’s door. “Tell them that Captain Levi and Special Operative Eren Yeager are out of commission for a while.”

“A hiatus, sir?” Petra asked in surprise.

He nodded. “We… I… I need a break,” he confessed towards the girl.

Surprised that the captain had uttered those words, Petra was stunned before blinking out of her silenced phase and nodding. “Right away, Captain.” She saluted, before grinning, turning on her heels and stepping down the hall.

The door. Just step through the door, Levi. _Open it._

Levi was reluctant, finding each detail in the wood, before giving an exhale and turning the handle. It creaked open, and he peeked inside, seeing an open window with billowing white curtains, a misplaced chair, nightstand, and a bed in the center of the room. The sun was slowly peeking over the horizon.

He closed the door shut behind him. While Levi would’ve taken the chair, he instead decided to sit on the side of Eren’s bed. Levi gazed down at his sleeping face. It was so peaceful, so serene, that Levi felt all the stress leave his body. He watched as Eren’s body breathed with life, his pink lips twitching with each breath.

Brushing aside brown locks of hair that framed his face, Levi moved to plant a lasting, adoring kiss on the boy’s forehead.

“Captain…”

Levi looked down at Eren, whose dark eyelashes were fluttering open, teal looking into his slate gray.

“Good morning, Eren.”

—

“Wow! This is where you’ve been staying all this time?”

Levi, when Eren was released from medical care, had brought the younger to his own room in the capital. It was a pretty nice abode, Levi would admit. It wasn’t too spacious— he didn’t like a lot of space— had a nice view of the city, its own restroom, bed, desk, closet for cleaning supplies…

“Shoes off,” Levi mumbled.

Eren perked before nodding and toeing off his shoes.

They were in casual attire, Levi in a white long-sleeved shirt, black pants, oxford shoes, with Eren adorning a white button-up with brown pants and shoes.

Levi gave a long sigh as Eren rushed forward to examine the room. “Y’know, I never thought I’d see your place.”

“Why’s that?” Levi asked as he headed towards his desk and looked at the piling letters he’d been ignoring for some time.

Eren shrugged as he looked out the window, the blue sky reflecting in his eyes. “It just… seemed personal.”

Personal. The older sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe so. Though, Eren,” he said as he looked at the younger, who gave his attention to him, “I think we’ve gotten pretty personal.”

“You think so?”

Levi nodded. “Nearly losing you, kid…” he tried to focus on the letters, placing a hand and pulling them all apart from the stack, he frowned, “...I realized how important you are to me.”

Awestruck, Eren began to stammer, “Important…?”

“Do you remember when I told you that I wanted to devour you?”

Eren was confounded before nodding. “Right… I don’t think I could ever forget that.”

He tried not to chuckle at the thought of Eren dwelling on that night. “Eren, when you were on my lap, cleaning…” Levi breathed, “I wanted to touch you.”

He winced. “I wanted to touch you, and break you in. I wanted to domesticate you in every way possible.” Levi glanced at Eren, who was about as red as a cherry, “Would you let me?”

Eren’s voice was quiet. “Yes.”

Levi smiled.

He slowly pulled away from his desk and approached the antsy boy. Yes, Eren was taller than him now, but Levi knew the boy would get on his knees if he asked. Levi was standing in front of Eren when he noticed the outline of the key against Eren’s shirt, and the dark string wrapped around his neck. Levi was careful when pulling his fingers beneath the collar of the shirt to slide the key out, holding it himself this time.

It was damaged, almost rusty, but now Levi could ask. “What’s this key for, Eren? I’ve always seen you hold it.”

Eren looked solemn. “It was the key to my old home in the Underground. I got ran out of it when I was kid, but…” he paused before whispering, “I kept the one thing I could.” Eren gave a short laugh. “My mama used to make me carry this around my neck, because she was afraid I would lose the key when getting errands.”

 _Your mama,_ Levi thought.

“What about your father, Eren?” Levi looked up at Eren. “What happened to him?”

The boy grimaced. “He was a good father. He just… couldn’t bear it. He left. I…” Eren’s lip trembled, but Levi only moved a hand up to cup the boy’s cheek, letting his thumb brush under his lip, comforting it.

“I’m not your daddy, Eren. But I can still take care of you.”

Eren gave a quiet intake of breath. “Captain…” he murmured, moving one hand up to cup over Levi’s. “...You already have been.”

Levi hummed. The hand still gripping the key tightened, and he moved it up to his lips, giving a kiss against the object before slipping it off of Eren. Setting it securely on the desk, he went back to Eren, cupping the boy's cheeks and moving him downwards slightly to ensure his stance.

“Eren. Will you let me claim you?”

No longer did Levi picture his crazed self on a familiar corpse. He wanted to erase that. He wanted to make it better.

Eren then said, “Always.”

Levi was slow to move Eren’s face towards his. Though, having a hold on the boy’s chin, it was easy to tilt it to the side to have their lips finally mesh together. It was slow, soft, and he knew Eren was inexperienced. Hell, Levi was too, admittedly. He’d never been exactly the most _intimate_ guy.

Backing Eren into the bed, the younger’s calves hit the side of the mattress, and he plopped onto it with a grunt. Levi was quick to crawl on top of him, moving a hand to brush against soft strands of hair and cupping his nape. Thighs bordering Eren’s, he lowered the other onto the bed, feeling Eren squirm beneath him.

 _Yes,_ he thought, having his hand move from Eren’s neck to begin unbuttoning the boys shirt.

He finally managed to take it apart, pulling apart each side and seeing untouched skin. Levi’s fingers traced down Eren’s abdomen.

“Beautiful.”

Eren blushed, and he loved it.

Kissing Eren’s lips, he moved down the boy’s cheeks to land them against the side of his neck. Eren gave quiet pants, legs curling inwards. He moved to kiss the exposed collarbone, rubbing his hands up and down Eren’s sides.

Feeling Eren move his legs around too much, Levi was displeased, using a knee to part Eren’s legs. “Keep them spread for me, boy,” he breathed against Eren’s skin while attacking his neck with bites and lovemarks.

Eren gave a whine at the pain, and he could feel hands sliding up his shirt to claw down his back. Levi groaned. _I want to tear you apart._

Levi pulled Eren’s pants down, and he gazed at the erection exposed. He chuckled almost sinsterly, and watched it twitch. “Look at you. You’re already so excited,” Levi grumbled as he used his hands to clutch Eren’s thighs, settling himself between them and pressing his crotch against the other’s pelvis.

 _No one else can have this,_ Levi thought as he gazed down at Eren. _I cultivated this. You’re mine._

Levi moved to adjust Eren further on the bed, giving the older leverage to press kisses down the hardened abdomen and reaching Eren’s dick.

“Cap— _Levi…”_ Eren sighed out once Levi took him in his mouth.

Having his tongue meet the bottom of his shaft, he pulled it upwards, hearing his protégé cry and moan above him. However, as much as he loved satisfying Eren, he wanted to hold the boy off a bit longer.

When Levi separated from Eren’s length and started kissing and sucking on his refined thighs, Eren whined, “Levi…”

He loved the way his name sounded from Eren’s mouth.

Looking up at his impatient boy, he nipped at the flesh, causing Eren to throw his head back and sigh. _A little masochist you are._

Levi loomed over Eren’s body, towering over it, shading it from the sun and watching as he hesitantly made eye contact with him.

“I want you to come on my cock.”

Feeling the way Eren trembled at his words alone, all the heat that covered his face was now in his groin, pooling at his stomach and aching in his cock. Levi pulled off his shirt from the bottom up, and unbuttoned his pants, clutching onto his girth.

Eren gaped before swallowing, his marked throat bobbing. “Y’know… I’ve only ever fantasized about this,” the younger confessed.

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

He shyly nodded. “I… imagined you coming into my room, pinning me to the bed, and…” Eren was embarrassed, “...I lost count how many times I…”

He didn’t need another word. Levi found himself turning Eren over, manhandling him to his hands and knees. Fervor ran through his veins, controlling him from the inside, making him act on impulse. Levi placed a firm on Eren’s shoulders and pushed him down so his ass was high up in the air, back arched.

Leaning back, he had a good look at Eren’s pert ass. A shaken breath released from him as he moved to grab a cheek, burying his fingertips deep into it. His dry thumb moved to gently push at Eren’s small, pink hole, and the receiver shivered.

Levi crouched over Eren and moved his hand to gently grip Eren’s chin before prodding two fingers against his lips. “Open, kid.” Eren opened his mouth, and he was able to put them inside, feeling Eren’s warm tongue coat them in spit. Levi gave a satisfied sigh, wanting to bury his cock down Eren’s throat.

Later, perhaps.

Kissing Eren’s shoulder, he pulled his hand away and moved to circle Eren’s entrance with his wet fingers before plunging one inside. Eren was so tight, Levi wasn’t going to fit in this at all. He winced. He continued to rotate in circles, pressing against the warm walls, hearing Eren give choked breaths.

Levi kissed at his nape before murmuring into his ear, “Breathe, Eren.”

Eren, like he’d been underwater, let out a long sigh. He could feel the walls in Eren shift, expanding, and Levi gave him an encouraging kiss on the shoulder before easing his next finger inside. Shifting his fingers together, he heard Eren go from discomfort to contentment, no longer gritting his teeth, but letting his lips have escaped, soft breaths.

Levi is so proud of him.

“Levi, I’m ready…” Eren managed out. “Please. Levi…”

A voiced drone sounded from Levi. He continued to have his fingers explore every ridge, every crevice of his apprentice. “Are you?”

“Yes… yes, Levi…”

He couldn’t get enough of hearing his name come out of the boy’s mouth. Levi didn’t even have to say anything for him to do it.

As much as Levi wanted to finger Eren until he came— licked Eren until he came, frotted against Eren until he came— Eren yearned for him inside. Levi would give the boy what he wanted, because he deserved it.

Sliding his hand out and tugging on his cock, Levi let the head tap against Eren’s hole. However, he slid it across the valley between Eren’s ass, almost purring at the rubbing, before the body beneath his squirmed. Levi stopped teasing and decided to slowly penetrate Eren’s virgin hole.

Oh, it was bliss.

Warm, wet, tight, so tight, Eren was vacuuming him in so eagerly, so perfectly. Eren’s hands gripped and pulled on the comforter beneath him as Levi was slow.

Levi didn’t put himself all the way inside, stopping mid-way, before beginning to pull out. He would slowly fuck himself to the mid-point, trying to get Eren used to his size, his girth and weight.

Biting his bottom lip, he slowly began to penetrate even deeper inside of Eren, bottoming out completely. “Levi…” Eren sighed out. It was so wanton, so perverted, Levi felt his insides melt with eroticism. Eren squirmed against his hips, causing Levi to feel Eren further.

Grasping Eren’s hips, Levi removed himself before plunging inside once more, hitting against Eren’s spot. The boy gave a sudden moan, burying his face into the sheets.

However, as Levi began to start a thrusting pace, he didn’t like the idea of Eren muffling his moans. The walls were pretty thick, anyway, using brick as a foundation. Levi moved to card his fingers through chocolate strands and pulled Eren’s chin upwards.

He heard the boy pant and moan with each slap of hips. Levi felt heat build around his body as he stared down at the action, absolutely enraptured.

Eren was so tight, so warm and welcoming, inviting his cock and shaping himself to fit. “You’re so fucking tight,” Levi managed out, “So fucking good. So good for me, Eren. You’re so good.”

The boy whined, but he seemed to like each word. “You like it when I talk to you like that, Eren?” Eren nodded, but Levi squeezed his fingers. “Verbally. Answer me verbally.”

“Yes! Yes, Levi, please… please call me good, please,” Eren beseeched. “Call me whatever you want…”

Levi ground his hips into Eren’s ass, Eren gasping and trembling, spreading his legs further. “Good boy. Spread your legs for me, just like that…”

Releasing Eren’s hair, he put both of his hands on the younger’s hips and started a vigorous, harsh pace. No longer did he want to be slow, and it seemed like Eren wanted it more intensely, too.

Eren started to whimper and whine, rambling Levi’s name, but it only came out in broken, slurred sighs. Levi curled over Eren as he continued to fuck him, murmuring in his ear, “I’m going to stuff you full.” His hand clutched at Eren’s throat, completely wrapping himself around the younger. It was an entanglement, a fusion of two bodies, lost in feverous lust and desire.

“Please… sir…” Eren managed out. “Please.”

Licking his teeth, he asked, “Are you going to come?”

“Yes…”

“Come from my cock, then, boy. Do it.”

Eren cried into the sheets after a few more grinding, harsh penetrative movements. The boy shook and trembled, hands clutching the blanket and tearing them from their once stable place, releasing from his captain’s cock alone.

Satisfied with that result, Levi tightened his grip on the boy’s neck, using him how he pleased.

His pace was aggressive. Violent. Possessive as he bit down on Eren’s neck, hearing the jubilated crying, Levi was finally going to claim Eren as his.

“You’re mine, Eren,” he bit out. “Forever.”

Then, with a few more presses into Eren’s ass, he unloaded, finally taking Eren physically.

Levi dominated each and every aspect of the Underground boy. Legally, emotionally, physically, he gave a shaken breath, feeling Eren’s walls become wet with heavy, thick cum. Pulling out slowly, he watched a string of his seed remain connected to Eren’s hole before disconnecting. The white, gooey liquid began to drip from Eren, and he released the younger to watch him lower his trembling pelvis to the bed.

Weak in the knees, he got up to head to the bathroom, dipping a rag in a bucket full of water and squeezing it before heading back to the quivering Eren.

Sitting on the bed, he helped Eren up, wiping the boy’s ass and stomach from cum. Eren leaned against his side, hot and exhausted.

“One round has you like this, huh?” Levi murmured with an amused tone.

Eren pouted. “I’ve never done anything like this before…”

“Good.”

Then, the brunette blinked, eyes wide. “Wait, are you implying we’re going for a round two?”

Levi licked his bottom lip, staring at the bruising marking Eren’s skin. There weren't enough marks. “Consider this another training exercise, kid.”

A beautiful laughter erupted from the brunette. However, they didn’t go again. Levi only simply replaced the bedsheets and laid naked beneath the comfort with Eren, letting the boy snuggle close to him, carding his fingers through his brown hair as he always wanted to do.

“Levi…”

“Hm?”

Eren peered up at him from his chest, and he saw tears cascading down the boy’s face. “Thank you for always looking after me.”

Levi scoffed, moving a thumb to finally wipe away Eren’s tears. “You’ve always been such a crybaby, Eren.”

_Yet, I fell in love with that sobbing._

—

It was a chilly morning. The skies were a bit cloudy, the air had a chilled bite to it, but it was starting to warm up after a long winter.

Today was Eren’s birthday.

They both walked along the street, as there was a bustling farmer’s market occurring. Many children would run past, and Levi would watch Eren’s lips quirk upwards at the sight. He had a soft spot for them, he supposed.

As they both walked, Levi paused in front of a stand, staring at it.

Eren looked behind, tilting his head. “Levi?”

All those years ago, at this very stand, Levi had bought a single sweet bread roll. He had heard Isabel’s voice asking him to take care of Eren, and he had mindlessly purchased this food, recalling Eren liking bread. Levi ignored Eren’s questions and walked forward, promptly ordering the same thing he got in the past.

The older lady was kind, giving it to him with an amiable smile.

Walking back to Eren, he offered it, watching the boy’s face turn as red as his scarf.

“Is that…?”

“Yes.”

Eren looked up and down before grabbing it with his gloved hands. As they continued down the street, Eren peeled the wrap off of the bread and split it in half. Levi watched inquisitively before Eren offered half of it to him.

He remembers this act in the Underground, how special, how meaningful it was to share your food with someone. Levi never did this, and neither did Eren.

The brunette knew this, a timid smile on his pink, pure lips.

Levi took the other half.

They managed down the market, continuing down the path.

“I don’t remember the last time I walked this street,” Eren confessed.

The older man hummed, taking a bite of the sweet roll. He swallowed, asking, “Is that a good or bad thing?”

The younger shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet.”

He paused, turning to look at something. Levi stopped with him and followed his lingering stare.

It was the orphanage. However, it almost looked abandoned, run-down. _They might have moved locations,_ Levi concluded. The various memories of Levi stopping by several times a week just to see the brat beside him… if only he knew. Would he be disgusted at himself? Levi didn’t want to get into logistics.

He watched as Eren’s eyes scanned the sign, and Levi only smirked, bantering, “Can you read that, or is it too big?” The younger huffed. “I can think of other things that are also too big for you.”

“Levi!” Eren gasped, before pouting and shaking his head. “I hate your humor sometimes.”

“You enjoy it.”

Eren didn’t argue, only gazing at the orphanage as the skies cleared up a bit, showing a purple, magenta hue in the sky. “Levi, I’m really happy you were the one they gave me to.”

Looking at Eren’s eyes, he simpered, tears welling at the corners of his eyes as he made eye contact with his captain. “I’m really happy you saved me.”

Levi didn’t hesitate. He grabbed Eren’s hand tightly, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles and kissing the top of them. “I’m really happy you saved me, too, Eren.”

Eren squeezed himself against Levi, agreeing. They walked down the street, hand-in-hand.

Levi looked up at the sky. It was so beautiful, so vast and gorgeous, and he wondered how he lived so many years in a place where he didn’t get to see it. He loved looking at it, and he loved looking into Eren’s eyes, seeing the azure reflected in them.

He noticed there were two doves soaring above them.

**Author's Note:**

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